Emotional Healing

Pastor Yoong Ying Wah

It's a pleasure to be here this morning. A little bit of introduction. I'm married with one wife, that's important to know nowadays and two children and two grandchildren. My grandson is already 6 years old and my granddaughter is 3 plus. I've been living in Melbourne for the last 28 years.

Some churches bring me in for one whole week where I may do three sessions of counselling a day. And some churches have been bringing me in for the last 14 years. I've not come out to Penang for years and years except for the last few months I come about two times. I come not only for individual counselling but also for special meetings and weekend meetings. They also have different cell groups taking me out for breakfast, lunch and dinner and when you minister to one person, you bless everybody in the group because everybody knows that person.

An example was 2 years ago, I flew to KK after transit in KL so I told them tomorrow please no counselling because I was too tired. Just take me out for the 3 meals. So one pastor brought 3 ladies to come along and before I could start on my Char Koay Teow in KK, I felt God asking me to talk to a lady on my right.

I asked her why do you worry about money when God has given you so much money? Money should be the last thing you're worried about. Wah…she panicked and said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be worried about money. I think I took up my mother's habit. Blame the mother. The mother was not there to defend herself. So when I wanted to start on my Koay Teow again, I saw something in my spirit and I asked why you keep scolding your husband. He's the nicest man you can ever find in this world. Wah, she almost burst into tears.

Had it been somebody I'm church telling her that she'd probably say you go and mind your own business. But I don’t know her. She said ya, I keep worrying about money so I take out my stress all on him. I spoke to one person, 4 people repented. Sometimes we think counselling we just sit down but this just saved me two hours of counselling because God just cut I'm like that.

And she had to be a very brave woman not to change after that. Sometimes we have very set ideas, so I told God I want to be creative. You'll never know what hits you. God is creative. We are the one that make God so boring. Some people go up to the pulpit and we say aiyah we know what he's going to talk about. I hope I'm not one of them.

Sometimes we have very set ideas but God is a creative God. Through the years, over 20 years, I've counselled many emotional healing on individual cases. You can't imagine the pain I come across. All kinds of depression, suicidal cases and those sexually abused people.

Then drop there I went into severe marriages issues. I've never met somebody who married to torture the other person. But a good marriage is more than just good intentions. You must know how to make it work. So a lot of people do not know sad to say but they don't ask for help. Most of the cases that comes to me already ICU cases. Incentive care. Terminal. The pulse is already about to become straight line. They try to fix it themselves so they medicate. So instead of helping themselves they poison themselves. So they end up in ICU. By the time I come in to find out what poison have they been taking and all the he wrong ways of dealing with each other.

Last few year I've also been doing ladies seminars. It's very interesting because a lot of things I don't plan. Now I'm moving into the youths too.

The youth ministry to really reset the thinking of young people. Yesterday I spoke about what it means by falling in love. What is chemistry? Examine and remove all these myth about chemistry and so on and so forth. And to give them the biblical standards of proper understanding. This world has a lot of voices for the young people. God has open the door for me to speak to the youth to readjust them. So instead of just looking at the pure beauty of a girl we should be looking at the inner beauty. The world tune the mind at the outside beauty. I always say guys, you can get the most beautiful dog in the world but if it keeps biting you, don't care how beautiful you'll still kick it away.

I never wanted to write books, but in the last few years I wrote books mainly for ladies. About emotional meltdown and how to change your husband without nagging and how to forget the past and so on. We always tell people to forget the past but how?

Two years ago one Singaporean bought my book and wanted to meet me with her husband. When I landed from KL, I saw on the cover of the Business Times was a full page of them and their family fortune. I am a simple man and don't have that kind of air. I have nothing tangible to offer them. They actually wanted intangible wealth. They realised that their tangible wealth can cover only a certain distance. God has been teaching me to lay hold of intangible wealth. Look for gems in the darkness. I was wondering what God was leading me to.

Last year in PJ, an American came to stay in a house I was staying in. He was there for 2 weeks. One night his host cannot have him so my host had him on board. And while fellowshipping he asked me about my life story. And he told me to write everything into a book and he said if I've nobody to edit for me he said to send to him and he'd pay for it to be edited. I was so shocked he was so keen on my life story.

He's a professor of missions for 36 years in charge of a doctorate programme at a seminary. Little did he know I started writing 6 months ago but halfway I stopped because I was not sure and had no bearing. It was God who sent this man for one night to come to the he house to tell me to finish it. So I told God I'll finish it. But I hated writing books because so much details.

Two days later in a cell group I asked one person if he knew anyone who could edit my book for me and he said he's a book publisher. Give it to me. I almost cried at Starbucks but men don't cry publicly. We only cry in the shower.

For many years as I counsel people one on one, some people can just fall asleep. I was offended because someone is talking and they find it boring. Then I realised that everyone who fall asleep are demonised or demon possessed. The demon would knock off their conscious mind. Because when I speak the word, it cuts like a surgical knife. When I counsel I cut like a surgical knife. I am a spiritual surgeon. I cut line upon line. Their conscious mind were knocked off so they cannot hear the words that is coming out. I don't look for demons. They will appear and knock off that person's conscious mind.

So this morning anyone feeling sleepy? Too early to do any deliverance. I always tell people when I speak nobody fall asleep. It's not that I'm very good, it's just that people dare not fall asleep.

Luke 4:18-19 (NIV)

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

To do the work of God you need the anointing of the Holy Spirit. A man of the word is made at the Bible College. But the man of God is made in the wilderness. In the wilderness God destroys you. You come out depending on the Holy Spirit. But the man of God and depend on the theology. Nothing wrong with that. But too often some of us take our brain and our knowledge as God. We treat out knowledge and our mind as though it's God. No. What is bigger than your mind and all the experience that you have gone through?

 As a young boy, I grew up in Kuala Lumpur and once in a whole I'll followed my father to Stadium Negara.
At about 6.30 in the morning, when the air once upon a time still fresh. Up there I saw all these old men doing Tai Chi. As a curious young man I was wondering what they were doing. They say it's good for blood circulation as you move your arms and legs. Also it is good for self defence when your enemy attack you take his force and pushbutton away. And you are left unharmed.

We Christians may not do physical Tai Chi. But a lot of us do spiritual Tai Chi. When the word of God come from the he pulpit to you, you say that word is for this fellow, so accurate and you hope he's paying attention. What you did was when you got the word of God you pushbutton away to someone else. They will say this word is for you. This is not for me. And when they leave the service they wonder why God never speak to me.

God does not gossip to you about somebody else problem. If he speaks he speaks to you not about someone else. He loves you and wants to help you change. So tardy every word is meant for you, not for your neighbour.

How many of you come to the church to torture or intentionally give your pastor problems? How many of you decided not to grow spiritually for the next ten years? It is illogical. Nobody intentionally do all of that. We never come to church to do it intentionally. But what is the reality? Some goes from church to church and criticise. After criticising, then go to another one.

It is important to know how to administer emotional healing. Nobody intentionally want to hurt another.

There's this man who had cheese on his beard. He went to the room and he said the room smells funny. Then he went on to the kitchen and he said his kitchen also smelled funny. Then he went into the living room and even the living room smelled funny. Looks like the whole house smelled funny. So he said he better go get some fresh air. He went out to the verandah, sniff sniff sniff and he said the whole world stinks. To him the whole world stinks. It's not because the whole world stinks but it's because he did not remove it from himself. Often we have something we are to deal with and we did not remove it in our life.

What you know about yourself consciously may not not necessarily be the truth about yourself. You may not be who you think you are. In counselling I realised 95% of those who think that that's the problem is actually not the actual problem.

One time I spoke to a church at Sungai Buluh In Selangor. It's a place where leprosy is treated. Leprosy is where you do not have feeling so when you scrape yourself you don't feel it. The same with many churches. They are so wounded they don't feel anymore. They built walls and say they don't want to feel anymore. So that they can't be hurt but at the same time can't be loved. In that state they can't feel other people so when they step on other people's toes they don't even know. They are shocked and said I did not hurt you. What's wrong with you? That's because they have emotional leprosy. Who's the real you and real me?

Computer. What's the real computer? The real computer is not just the screen. It's the screen and the CPU but many think it's just the screen.

If knowing the truth brings freedom then why are Christians who is more than qualified still struggling?

Two days ago I was supposed to fly in to Singapore to help a couple. One of them the in-law asked me to go down to help their son-in-law and daughter. That son-in-law speaks in 150 countries. A big Christian organisation. And he also speaks in all the churches in Singapore. A strings of qualifications, Masters in Psychology and counselling. To him, he said he tried to fix his marriage and he said if he can't nobody can. He wanted to divorce his wife actually. He trusted his knowledge but it's more than that.

One time, God showdown me the pictures of a horse. There was this horse that was galloping on the spot. And the people asked the horse why are you running on the spot? The horse was tied by a thick rope to a stake. All Christians want to advance but because of unresolved issues, you keep galloping on the spot. Cut off the rope for people and you'll see them move forward.

Head knowledge does not change how you live life. It just change how you think about yourself. Many decisions we make is because of our unconscious mind.

Many think they think it's what they know because they read the bible. Moments of discovery comes when it expose what you know in your conscious mind and what your unconscious mind does.

Otherwise it's just head knowledge. They you just know it but you are not it. You know of it but you can't do it. You talk it but you don't walk it. Many Christians are in this kind of state. The devil is a better theologian than many of us. He has been around and even used the word against Jesus. Although he knows the word of God he's still the devil. You may know the word of God but you may not change.

You make me so angry. You make me angry when I'm a nice man. We blame others for our actions. I had this man who came to talk to me and asked me to talk to his wife so that he does not have to beat her. He blamed his aggressiveness on his wife. I was wondering and asked him why she is so powerful  can make him beat her but cannot make him love her? It is obviously not in her hands. He's blaming her for beating her.

It's the example of a tiger cage. No matter how I rattle the tiger cage, you won't hear a tiger roar if there's no tiger in there. Too many of you already have a tiger in there. God send somebody to rattle that tiger cage of yours to have you deal with that tiger in there. But we ended up blaming the messenger from God.

What is your unconscious thought? It was once your conscious thought. It was pushed aside and became unconscious thought because it was suppressed. And as Christians as you grow in the word of God that became alive in us, but so are your past issues. The main reasons why Christians failed to progress is that they often blame the devil. Too often we blame it on the devil. Because of the emotional mess in us we self destruct. Most Christians self destruct because of emotional problems never dealt with. Your wounded self.

One day a lady came to see me because she had a new found love in Melbourne. She was having an affair with a colleague. She didn't want a divorce because of a bad name to her family. But she still wants to enjoy this new found love. As I talked to her I realised she was not intending to give him up. So I had to tell her God said if you repent I will restore you but if you insists on going your way I'll let you go. All of us Christians have the hand of God covering us. The anger of God is not coming to slap your backside but to let you go. My grace and mercy kept you but it's not a license to live in sin. To sin deliberately. If you continue I'll let you go.

That lady who committed adultery suddenly called the church to complain about me. The moment God let you go, you're no longer under the influence of the Holy Spirit.

In another case a wife really hate the husband. He could not understand because he took her for a holiday and even bought her a new car. She insisted on sleeping in another room. She went to a lawyer and wanted to divorce her husband. The lawyer brought her to Christ and found her someone to guide her on what a good Christian wife should do to her husband. She learnt all those things and still hate the husband. This time worst. Now you know what you're supposed to do and you can't do it. So she became suicidal. It was tormenting.

She could not even stand the husband touching her at all. We happened to know the person who was following her up so typical of me I just asked if you've heard of any lady who doesn't want her husband to touch her. She jumped up when she realised this was a divine appointment.

So I met her and I asked why do you hate your husband? She said I hate my husband because he asked me to do banking and to drive here and there in the hot sun. I asked if I can pray for her.

Holy Spirit come and search her heart. After a while she said yes I remembered 5 years ago he did this to me so I hate him. So I prayed Holy Spirit search deeper. I remember now, 10 years a go he did this to me. Holy Spirit search deeper. And then suddenly, she just cried out.

17 or 18 years ago when they were still boyfriend and girlfriend he imposed himself on her sexually. And she said when that feeling came out it felt like it just happened seconds ago. The feeling is so real and the anger she had on him as a boyfriend then is still very much alive. So much so that even though the husband has changed to be a better person what had locked up in the unconscious she couldn't forgive him. And it came out finally.

I asked if she wants to forgive her husband and she said she always wanted to forgive him but I didn't know what it was. Now I know. So I prayed for her. She went home told the husband come back to the room. That night, Tarzan met Jane. Imagine that. But don't imagine too hard alright.

A marriage about to be destroyed because of one thing that happened a long long time ago was saved. The root was not dealt with.

Some things that hold us are personal secrets. One of the worst is sexual mistakes. You normally cannot pray it away. You need someone else to pray with you. Especially for young girls. For the young man it's enjoyment but for the girls it'll mess you up.

What you don't talk out you will act out. External things don't help you. It is important you seek help and deal with it.

Many people are corrupt in their mind. That's why they cannot get rid of it until somebody talk and pray with them.

If you wonder why you can't move forward seek help. Talk to God and God will arrange a suitable person for you.

Pastor Yoong Ying Wah praying for the congregation.

Was Joseph A Good Dad?

Kenny Song at Harvest Revival Centre

http://harvestrevivalcentre.com/

How many here are fathers, may I see your hands? Grandfathers? My hands are also raised, both hands, because I have two grandsons. That's my daughter Pam with my two grandsons while on holiday. I learned a long time ago becoming a father is much easier than being one. I became a father at 24 so you can imagine the responsibilities that came with it when I was just getting my footing on my business and married life.

Fathers, tell me if these words sound familiar.

- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

- How should I know? Go ask your mother.

- Just wait till you have kids of your own.

- Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?

- When you make your own money, you buy what you want!

- Stop playing with your food.

- Quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!

- Why? Because I said so!

- My pocket money was only 20 cents.

- Buy what toys? I make my own toys when growing up.

And my favourite:

- When I was your age…

Fathers…do these sound familiar? We fathers may be very different and comes from all walks of life but there are some things only fathers can relate to. Like I said, being a father is no easy task. We have to provide, protect, instruct and discipline our children on a practical level and love and guide them spiritually.

Today, I want to look at one particular father mentioned in the bible. He is responsible for the upbringing of the Son of God. Who's that?

I titled my message, "Was Joseph a good dad?"

We have don’t have much Biblical material to work with, but I believe that Joseph like us, struggled with being a “dad” as well. In many ways, I feel for Joseph. While Mary is lifted up as the one who sacrificed, Joseph is peripheral where even in the Biblical accounts, only a few passages tell his story. Joseph was the earthly father of Jesus, the man entrusted to raise the Son of God.

Matthew 1:19-20

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

Joseph was a righteous, merciful, discrete, obedient and intelligent man, who followed God’s direction in the midst of other options.

And we know that Jesus of Nazareth came directly from his Joseph’s lineage. Jesus spent thirty years with his family before his ministry. And I have to believe that Jesus picked up his personality traits not only from His heavenly Father to whom he gives much of the credit, but also from his earthly father, who was there at least in those beginning years.

Skilled as a carpenter in the small town of Nazareth, Joseph spent time teaching his son the trade as well as providing spiritual training. Jesus is very often described as working and being taught by Joseph in his carpenter’s shop. This was an inherited occupation Jesus performed before going into His ministry. We see this today as well, as businessmen hand the mantle over to their sons or daughters. What the father does, often influences the career choices of their children.

When Jesus spoke of God as being like a loving Father, he could draw from his youth the kind of love he had from Joseph. Joseph stands as a testimony to the value of integrity, obedience, faithfulness, and especially to honouring the entrusted role of "fatherhood.” 

So, this morning let's look at Joseph and see how he was a good father.

1. First and foremost, Joseph loved his wife

Ephesians 5:28 says, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.”

There is no doubt that children watch their parents…

I strongly believe that to be a good father, you must first and foremost be a good husband (not just because my wife is here ya).

If they see disrespect, statistics show that it will carry into the children’s marriage. If they see verbal, mental, or physical abuse, children will think that to be normal. If there is little value given to wives and to the opposite spouse, children will use that model in their future homes, families, and marriages.

Words between husbands and wives, like please, sorry and thank you will be picked up by your children. During their formative years, they are like a sponge and pick up everything.

That is why when children swear, or behave rudely, it often reflects on their parents, carbon copies of the original.

Often, we use the term wreaked marriages that ends up in divorce. Have we considered the wreaked lives of their children because of the divorce? Their insecurities, their pain, and the helplessness of seeing their parents split apart.

But…

If they visibly see love and respect, it will be modelled in their marriage and family. If the father honours the mother (and vice versa), that is exactly what the children will look for in their marriage.

If the parents cherish one another, love each other, then that will carry into the children’s lives as they grow older.

That familiar Proverb rings true, “Train up a child in the way they should go: and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” (22:6)

The earthly Jesus treated women with respect. Probably more respect than any other religious leader of his day…

He loved his mom. Even to the point of making sure that she would be cared for as he died on the cross.

He valued each and every person. Whether the thief on the cross or the solider or the blind or the sick...he saw value in each person.

When Joseph had the decision before him to either leave Mary quietly or make a big fuss, even in the midst of his own pain, he wanted to do what was best for Mary, sacrificing himself, his reputation.

Jesus did the same as he gave himself up because of his love for the church. I believe he first saw that all-giving love in his father’s love for his mother. If we want to be good fathers, we need to love our wives, just as Joseph did.

2. Second, Joseph didn’t expect perfect children

I remember when my daughter came into this world, and I carried our baby for the first time, I just whispered to myself…perfect. We were very specific when we prayed for our daughter before she was born. We named her Pam after Pamela Ewing, that TV series playing at that time, because the actress was the kindest person in the TV series. Anyone knows what TV series is that?

We prayed that she would have dimples, my skin, my wife's chin, my nose, my wife's ears…and you know what? God answered every one of our heart's desire for her. She even has four dimples, though we never prayed specifically for that. Perfect. Babies are such angels. Then they grow up and how often we hear parents scream at those "little devils". We quickly learn they are not perfect.

The story in Luke of Jesus in the temple is one example. The parents take off expecting Jesus to be playing with his friends only to find out that they’ve lost their kid. (Anybody ever been there?). Have you ever suddenly lost your child for a moment, like maybe at the malls?

I remembered when I was an 8 year old, my mother took me shopping along Penang Road. We were from Alor Star. She was busy looking at clothes with my auntie, when a bald man suddenly grabbed me and ran towards Chowrasta Market. Other pedestrians shouted at him and he dropped me after about 50 meters. My mother ran and grabbed me and just held on to me crying. That feeling where you think you have lost your child. After she calmed down, I remember vividly what she told me next. "Don't tell your father". :)

Mary asked Jesus, “Why have you done this to us?” and Jesus’ response, “Did you not know that I must be about my father’s business?”

We know now what Jesus was talking about, and today we don’t fault him for this, because we understand that Jesus had a different agenda than mom or dad.

But I’d be willing to admit that Joseph had a long talk with his son on the way back home just as I would have done if that happened to my daughter.

But the point is that just as there are no perfect fathers, there was only one perfect child in Jesus Christ.

As fathers, we cannot expect children to meet all our expectations, to fulfill all our goals for them, to be what we want them to be. They are not perfect.

I was not perfect growing up. I was lazy, played a lot and exam results were never stellar. I was an average student. So when I got my results for Form 6, HSC, I failed. But I love to draw, so I told my father I want to join an Art College. Those days, Art was very different from Design Schools today. My relatives discouraged my father, saying I can never make good money and job options are few. They say artists only make money after they die.

But my dad sat me down and asked me this. Are you sure that's what you want to do? I said yes! And he took me out to Penang to register at an Art College and because of his encouragement and support, I have loved my work and I praise God I didn’t do too badly either. My dad didn’t ask for a perfect son, he just loved me, imperfect as I was.

Spilled milk, broken things here and there, a poorly written test, a dent in the family car… children make mistakes and they are far from perfect. Things can always be replaced but a broken heart is hard to mend.

But it’s the good father, like Joseph, who, even when he doesn’t understand his child, like that time in the temple, says “that’s okay, let’s go home.”

Fathers, our children may be clumsy or athletic, scatter-brained or organised, shy or cakap banyak, crude or sophisticated… love them for who they are, they are your children.

Colossians 3:21 says – “Fathers, don’t make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged.”

If we want to be good fathers, we need to understand that our children are far from perfect. Just love and encourage them.

3. For our last point this morning, Joseph did all that he could do for his child

If you turn in your Bibles to Matthew 2:13-23, we see the familiar story of Joseph taking his family to Egypt and then to Nazareth by direction of angels.

Can you imagine leaving house and home, job and career, family homestead and family ties, to pick up and move to a foreign land, just because an angel told you so?

I have to believe that Joseph was a man of prayer. And no one can contest the fact the Joseph wasn’t in direct communication with God.

For his child, for his family, and for himself, I am sure that Joseph was in prayer. Even when he and Mary couldn’t be with Jesus, they knew that where they couldn’t be, God could be.

As fathers, we need to pray for our children and our families and to God for our strength. Why? Because our Heavenly Father loves our children and our families as much as we do…even more…Amen?

I also believe that Joseph did all that he could do for his family, he prepared his children.

Joseph not only prepared his child to leave home, he prepared Jesus for a lifetime, and beyond.

Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.”

Preparing our children for that day when they finally leave our home is only part of the picture. Preparing them to live a productive lifetime in this world experiencing success and coping with failure, is another integral part, but it’s just that…a part.

As fathers, mothers, grandfathers, and grandmothers, we need to be preparing our children for eternity. God didn’t give us our children just to be doctors, teachers, engineers, lawyers, or preachers. He gave them to us to prepare them for everlasting life through Jesus Christ.

While we can’t choose for them, we CAN choose to show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life that leads to salvation, and their spiritual destiny. As parents, we need to be giving our children every opportunity to accept Christ for themselves.

We can’t choose for them, we can’t decide which path they are going to take, but we can set the example. I believe this is what Joseph did. Jesus knew about his spiritual heritage because of his parent’s devotion.

We, as parents, can have a Godly influence on our children. Let us never forget that their physical presence in this world is only a shadow of what eternity will be.

If we want to be good fathers, we need to do all that we can do for our families, just as Joseph did.

I do not have to tell you that Fatherhood is not doing well in our society…

Some sad and tragic incidents have happened right at our doorsteps. A group of young children riding their bicycles dangerously in the wee hours of the morning was mowed down. Where were their fathers?

Just this week a young 18 year old teenager, Nhaveen was physically and sexually attacked, because he was different and was declared brain dead before he succumbed to his injuries. Why? He knew those boys. Somebody wrote an article titled: Bullies are not born. They are raised. Where were their fathers in their upbringing?

It's not just here but it is happening everywhere. Children hardly see their fathers. I call them "Disappearing dads". Who do these children turn to for advice and guidance. Mr Google has replaced many fathers. It's sad. Google can give you information, but not Godly guidance.

My daughter Pam loves talking to my wife. They can spend hours talking. I also don't know WHAT they talk about? So much to say meh? She gives her emotional support, shares her hurts and joys, and tell each other what's happening in their lives.

Then when advice is needed, my wife will often tell her, go ask your father. Every time I get a call from her, it's for advice, opinions and decisions. That's what I'm there for. She runs to me in her time of need.

When she was just about 7 years old, she was crossing the road and the person watching her lost sight of her for 2 seconds and a motorcyclist rammed into her and she was flung meters away. I carried her in my arms and we rushed her to Gleneagles. Her waist area was turning blue black. Thank God it was only bruises because the doctor said she was so light she didn’t take the full impact.

But during that time at the hospital, she refused to let me go. Just wanting daddy to be beside. Fathers, we give our child assurance and security. It makes a world of a difference for them. A feeling only fathers can give.

Studies of young criminals have found that more than 70% of juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes. Children from broken families are nearly twice as likely as those in two-parent families to drop out of high school.

Now, more than ever, I believe that as fathers, we need to be positive role models. The most precious commodity we can give to our children are our prayers and our time. Not things.

Let us fathers learn from Joseph.

• We have to love our wives.
• We have to understand that our children are not perfect.
• We have to do all that we can do for our families.

Will you join me in prayer this morning for all fathers, grandfathers and spiritual fathers….

God, our Father, in your wisdom and love you made all things, including each and everyone of us. We give you thanks in that you are not absent, but present with us.

Bless our fathers, may they be strengthened by their faith, may they become an example of your love, and may they honour you always.

For those fathers, who have given us life and love, we show them our respect and love.

For those fathers who have lost a child through death, we pray that their faith will bring them hope and comfort.

For men, though without children, who have nurtured and cared for us as spiritual fathers, we give you thanks.

And for those fathers who are struggling, we pray for strength and wisdom that comes from you, our Abba Father.

Amen.

Wonderful worship. Love that song Good, Good Father.

Senior Pastor Rev Dr Benard Augustine

Sermon titled: "Was Joseph a Good Dad?"

Get Ready

Rev Gideon Lee

Matthew 25:1-13

The Parable of the Ten Virgins

​1 “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3 The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. 4 The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. 5 The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

6 “At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’

7 “Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. 8 The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’

9 “ ‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’

10 “But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.

11 “Later the others also came. ‘Sir! Sir!’ they said. ‘Open the door for us!’

12 “But he replied, ‘I tell you the truth, I don’t know you.’

13 “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

I want to start by telling you a true story. About the sinking of the titanic. There was a lady on board the ship that went in the life boat as it was sinking. Just before they cast the life boat down, she remembered she needs something from her room. The guard told her the ship is sinking and there's no time left. What's so important that she had to go back to her room? She pleaded so the officer told her she has three minutes. After that they will not wait for her. She got off the lifeboat and ran to her room. As she passed the gambling hall she saw all the money left in the room but she passed it and went to her room. She has a lot of money and jewellery in her room but instead of taking them, she found the three oranges that she was looking for. And she made it in time back to the lifeboat.

There are things in our life that will change our perspective in life. No longer was her money important or her jewellery. She knew the three oranges were food she will need.

The same is with the coming back of Jesus. Even though it's been 2,000 years since he came we may have lost our perspective. I want to sound the alarm and how we live our life should be like that.

The story of the ten virgins says that. The Jewish wedding has three stages. Stage one is the engagement. The father of the bride and groom will agree to a certain amount of dowry and put in trust for the couple. The second stage is the betrothal. That's the wedding ceremony on paper. No physical contact yet. After that is the wedding celebration. That's where there's the wedding dinner and the groom will bring the bride home and their first night together where the consummation of the marriage takes place.

How many of you remember the day you got married? I remember the day when I got married. I could not sleep the whole night because I was so nervous. And I was up early to put on my suit and to go and fetch Serena from her house. All the groomsmen or all my guys were there early with me. And when we reached there, they had games where I have to win her over. As we reach, we blast our horns. She knows we are coming but she does not know the exact time I will arrive. I'm pretty sure she too cannot sleep that night and she was up early and waiting for me. We made a lot of noise so that she knows when the groom will arrive.

So as I arrived, the younger brother opens the door and I had to give what? Ang Pows (laughs). And I had to do some stuff. To sing a song of ten reasons why I loved her. And it had to be animals cause she knows I loved animals. Like you're as lovely as a peacock. Then the bridesmaids were all there stopping me. The ten virgins. So I gave Ang Pows again and then I saw her in all her beauty and splendour. So I asked myself what did I do to deserve her (wahs).

It is at this stage that Jesus talked about the ten virgins. They knew the groom was coming but they did not know the exact time. The ten virgins had to be ready. The groom had to travel great distance and it was at night. Maybe it's cooler. The groom will often delay and try to be late, like a game. He may delay but he is definitely coming back for his bride, the church. So he will send a messenger to announce his coming late at night.

The bible says one group was wise while the other was foolish. They were foolish because they had not prepared enough oil. The wise group brought extra oil. And as it happened, the groom came late and the five foolish virgins asked for oil from the wise virgins. But they cannot give their oil, so they asked why don't they go out to buy oil. So the five foolish virgins went out to buy oil, that's when the groom arrives.

And the groom sees his bride for the first time. And he took the bride home and closed the doors for the celebration. The foolish virgins finally arrived and asked to go in and the groom said I don't know you. Jesus said this to the foolish virgins.

Here are some things we can learn.

1. Some things in life cannot be borrowed.

We say sharing is caring but there are just some things in life that we hold dear and can't share. What are some of those things? Like your spouse. We talked about the Ten Commandments and one of it is that he is a jealous God. He does not want to share you. He is a jealous God. Another is our faith. You cannot use other people's faith to get to heaven. So if your father is a missionary, you cannot "tumpang" (ride on) on his faith to get to heaven. Just because your father is a Christian does not make you a Christian. You have to believe and have your own faith. You have to know God personally. You can't share.

Just like the five wise virgins. They can't share their oil with the foolish virgins.

2. There are some things that cannot be put off until the last minute.

Our church has fire insurance. Let's say we don't have it and as a fire breaks out we want to buy the insurance. Just like the virgins who needed to buy the oil last minute late in the night. Like studying for your exams last minute. The mommies know their children's time table better than them. They will wait till the last minute before they cramp everything in. How many of you like to do things last minute? That's why we must have deadlines. In a company there's always a person called Mr. Last Minute. These foolish virgins needed oil last minute. You cannot make withdrawals without deposits.

There was this parent who thought the pastor could change the mind of their daughter. After some time, the pastor said he cannot change the mind of their daughter. The parents were disappointed and asked the pastor why he can't change her mind? The pastor said "with due respect, how can I accomplish something in 30 minutes what you couldn't do in 30 years". Some things take time and we have to invest time into it. Some say pastor, let me make money first and then when I'm old I'll serve God.

I'm encouraging the young to rise up and serve. Don't wait till you are old. The standing board member list is up there and you see all their handsome faces. I'm glad there are new young faces. I'm not despising the old, except B.A. (laughs).

Also we cannot put off accepting the Lord as our saviour. We cannot say wait until the last minute.

3. If we are not prepared we can miss our great opportunity

The five foolish ones were not prepared and they miss the grand wedding celebration. Everybody was involved and sometimes it lasts for weeks. If we are not ready we may miss out on some great opportunities God has in store for us.

God has put in my heart our best season for this church is going to be evangelism. I'm going to lead all ministries towards reaching out. I believe this is what God wants for our church. And I want everybody involved. If we're not ready we are going to miss out on the opportunity. And I want the church to move with me. How many of us have shared Jesus with anyone this year? Like the Mike Constantine and Juwita Suwito concert, I was a little disappointed. I mean the programme went well but 99% of the people were all Christians. We should be encouraging others to make a decision for Christ but we have to tell them about Christ. The bible says he who wins soul is wise.

Evangelism fails because we are not willing to go out. We know what to do but we are not willing to go out. It takes time and effort so we think it's inconvenient. Think about how you know about Christ. Did someone took the time, effort and money to share with you? Let's do it for others.

We should not be like the five foolish virgins, we should be ready. The Royal Rangers has a mentoring programme that uses camping and other tools to disciple. But the motto is ready. Ready to serve God , ready to praise him and ready to be anything he wants us to be.

Church what is our motto? Arise Shine is our theme and our tagline is blessed to be a blessing. Can we have a motto "ready"? Let's get ready. I'll drill this in us knowing that Jesus is coming back soon.

No one know the exact time, not even the Angels but looking at the seasons we can tell but exactly when we don't know. Looking at the season we know it is soon. And we need to be ready.

Not only we need to be ready but we need to get others ready. Wouldn't it be a shame when we get to heaven and we see our best friend and relatives in hell. We need to be ready and get others ready.

I want to end with this quote. The best way to be ready for tomorrow is to be ready today. The best way to be ready for Jesus is to be ready now.

It Ain't Over Till It's Over

Rev Gideon Lee

We need to pray for our country. Our nation. Now even Ultraman is banned. And we know Datuk Seri Anwar is in prison. I am not talking about politics. But we need to pray. And also the jet  MH370 that is missing. Let's pray for our nation. 

This morning I am going to talk about a serious subject. I may lose my job after this. Just joking ya. 

I am not yet done with the beatitude. 

Matthew 5:31-32  “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. ’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

We want to talk a little bit about divorce. There may be some here that have gone through the painful process of a divorce and I want you to know this is not about you. I took an oath so this is an issue I need to talk about especially for the youth. 

It is important enough for Jesus to address this in one of his most important sermon. He is talking to the Christians. Not non Christians. 

It is important because according to a survey the divorce rate have increased 700% in the 20th Century and continues to rise. There is one divorce for every 1.8 marriages. Round it up and it's almost one divorce in every two marriages. That's about 50%. Over a million children are involved in divorce cases and 13 million children under 18 have one or both parents missing. 

The United States has about 5% of the world's population. Nearly half of Americans believe there is no need for marriages. When the Wirthlin group recently asked Americans about their expectations when a friend gets married, 64% of them think that their friend's marriage won't last. 44% agree that marriage will end in divorce and many feel it will be sooner than later. And 59% say it is a smart idea to draw up a pre-nuptial agreement. You never hear of this in our father's time. 

You may say I am just quoting statistics from the non Christians. What about Christians. About 33% of born-again Christians marriages ends in marriage and 34% from non Christians. 87% of the born-again adults divorced after they accepted Christ. 2/3 of Christians see divorce as a reasonable solution to problematic marriages. 

There are only two things that causes unhappy marriages. It's men and women. That's it. It's how we view marriage. 

Jesus confronts the problem of marriage. Jesus quoted from the OT.

Deuteronomy 24:1

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,

They are saying God condones divorce and not only condones but that it's okay to do it as long as you gave a certificate. Jesus knew that many views marriage as a contract and not a covenant. God says no. God sees marriage as a covenant. God is not interested in how we can get out of marriage but how you could stay in a marriage. It's a covenant not a contract. It's not just about the legal aspect of a certificate. 

It is a hot topic then and so it is today. 

Matthew 19:3

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

Let me talk to you about some reasons for divorces in those days. Today it is usually termed as irreconcilable differences. In Matt 19:3, the Pharisees asked Jesus this question again, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?" The reason they asked why is because the school of thought in that day was that a man can divorce his wife for any cause whatsoever. Here are some reasons. 

If she spoiled his dinner by adding too much salt. 

If she were seen in public with her head uncovered. 

If she talked with other men on the street. 

If she spoke with disrespect to her husband's parents. 

And this one takes the cake. 

If she became plain looking compared to another women who her husband deemed to be more beautiful. 

All he has to do is write a bill of divorce. But this is how God views divorce. 

Malachi 2:16

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

God's plan is a plan of permanence. For better or for worst, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. 

I know some people who has extra marital affair elsewhere and they even have families outside of Malaysia. And they argue that their marriage in Malaysia does not stop them from having another woman in another country. They see it as contractual. 

But as a covenant, there is a third party. God. And it's for your good. 

Jesus was dealing with the attitude of a people who was divorcing their wives for very trivial reasons. Look at Jesus's advice. Jesus said unless it is for adulterous or marital unfaithfulness. But I want to say this. I have counselled many cases and in the Lord, coming together there will be reconciliation and they can have happy marriages. Don't give up. 

God has made it clear. They are not to divorce their wives simply because they added too much salt to their food. 

In divorces, not only the couple suffer but their children. I suspect God is interested in their children. God is interested in their marriage. We need to confront the ugly truth of divorce. Don't let Hollywood tell you it's okay. They are just actors and is paid. Don't let them fool you it's okay to have many partners and to sleep around. The word unfaithfulness is from the Greek word proneia from where you get the word pornography. It refers to any illicit sexual intercourse, whether it be adultery, homosexuality or incest. 

If we bring it to God there is hope even on cases of adultery. I have seen many cases and can testify to it. 

You know the word cleave in the bible? The word cleave signifies permanent attachment. Like glued together once you are married. 

Earlier I said marriage is like a contract or just a licence. Some people say no need to get married. It's just a piece of paper. I don't need to have a piece of paper to prove to you that I love you.

I put it this way. If you are stopped by the police can you tell the police no need license la. I don't need a piece of paper to prove I can drive. The police will still ask for that piece of paper. 

Would you tell your employer you don't need that piece of paper at the end of the month? You wouldn't need that cheque that you earned working for? Would you?

To let you know how important is that piece of paper, you have to bring your marriage cert to register your children's birth cert or IC. Even to do a passport I need that piece of paper. It's not just a piece of paper. It's not just a contract. 

Did you know that where a couple is married in a church the ratio of divorce drops to one divorce in 33 marriages? Did you know that where the couples are "regular" in church attendance, the ratio drops to one divorce in 105? When you stick with Jesus you can stick with each other.

Incidentally, there are other reasons why you ought to stick together. One of the most important investments you can ever make in your life financially is an enduring marriage. A National Institute of Ageing survey of 12,000 couples, ages 51 to 21, found that married couples are on average twice as wealthy as unmarried couples.

But for your own happiness you better think about sticking it out. 86% of unhappily married people who stay together find that five years later their marriages are happier. Three-quarters of people who have characterised their marriages as "very unhappy" but have nevertheless remained together, report five years later that the same marriages are either "very happy" or "quite happy." In the words of two prominent experts: "Permanent marital unhappiness is surprisingly rare among the couples who stick it out."

There was this woman who wanted to divorce her husband because he was a bully and treated her so badly. 

The woman came to a counsellor one time and said, "I cannot stand my husband, and I want to be as mean as I can to him."

The counsellor replied, "All right, if you want to really be mean to your husband here's what you do. Go home and tell your husband that you love him. Do everything possible to prove it. Do things that you've never thought to do for him before, and then when he's convinced you love him more than anybody else in the world, tell him you do not love him at all and you want a divorce. She said, "That sounds great, I'll do it."

In a few weeks she came back with a report that she had followed her counsellor's advice. The counsellor said, "Great, now you can sue for divorce." The woman looked at her and said, "Are you crazy? I've fallen in love with my husband for the first time in years and our marriage is more beautiful and happier than it's ever been."

Sometimes we are looking for a way out while God is looking for a way back in.

I am talking to those of you who are thinking of getting married. It is permanent. The escape clause is when death do us part. You make a decision to marry a person, it's for life. 

You may say what about the part where he or she is unfaithful? If you come together in the Lord, it need not end in divorce. It ain't' over till it's over. God can reconcile the relationship.