It Ain't Over Till It's Over

Rev Gideon Lee

We need to pray for our country. Our nation. Now even Ultraman is banned. And we know Datuk Seri Anwar is in prison. I am not talking about politics. But we need to pray. And also the jet  MH370 that is missing. Let's pray for our nation. 

This morning I am going to talk about a serious subject. I may lose my job after this. Just joking ya. 

I am not yet done with the beatitude. 

Matthew 5:31-32  “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. ’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

We want to talk a little bit about divorce. There may be some here that have gone through the painful process of a divorce and I want you to know this is not about you. I took an oath so this is an issue I need to talk about especially for the youth. 

It is important enough for Jesus to address this in one of his most important sermon. He is talking to the Christians. Not non Christians. 

It is important because according to a survey the divorce rate have increased 700% in the 20th Century and continues to rise. There is one divorce for every 1.8 marriages. Round it up and it's almost one divorce in every two marriages. That's about 50%. Over a million children are involved in divorce cases and 13 million children under 18 have one or both parents missing. 

The United States has about 5% of the world's population. Nearly half of Americans believe there is no need for marriages. When the Wirthlin group recently asked Americans about their expectations when a friend gets married, 64% of them think that their friend's marriage won't last. 44% agree that marriage will end in divorce and many feel it will be sooner than later. And 59% say it is a smart idea to draw up a pre-nuptial agreement. You never hear of this in our father's time. 

You may say I am just quoting statistics from the non Christians. What about Christians. About 33% of born-again Christians marriages ends in marriage and 34% from non Christians. 87% of the born-again adults divorced after they accepted Christ. 2/3 of Christians see divorce as a reasonable solution to problematic marriages. 

There are only two things that causes unhappy marriages. It's men and women. That's it. It's how we view marriage. 

Jesus confronts the problem of marriage. Jesus quoted from the OT.

Deuteronomy 24:1

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,

They are saying God condones divorce and not only condones but that it's okay to do it as long as you gave a certificate. Jesus knew that many views marriage as a contract and not a covenant. God says no. God sees marriage as a covenant. God is not interested in how we can get out of marriage but how you could stay in a marriage. It's a covenant not a contract. It's not just about the legal aspect of a certificate. 

It is a hot topic then and so it is today. 

Matthew 19:3

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

Let me talk to you about some reasons for divorces in those days. Today it is usually termed as irreconcilable differences. In Matt 19:3, the Pharisees asked Jesus this question again, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?" The reason they asked why is because the school of thought in that day was that a man can divorce his wife for any cause whatsoever. Here are some reasons. 

If she spoiled his dinner by adding too much salt. 

If she were seen in public with her head uncovered. 

If she talked with other men on the street. 

If she spoke with disrespect to her husband's parents. 

And this one takes the cake. 

If she became plain looking compared to another women who her husband deemed to be more beautiful. 

All he has to do is write a bill of divorce. But this is how God views divorce. 

Malachi 2:16

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

God's plan is a plan of permanence. For better or for worst, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. 

I know some people who has extra marital affair elsewhere and they even have families outside of Malaysia. And they argue that their marriage in Malaysia does not stop them from having another woman in another country. They see it as contractual. 

But as a covenant, there is a third party. God. And it's for your good. 

Jesus was dealing with the attitude of a people who was divorcing their wives for very trivial reasons. Look at Jesus's advice. Jesus said unless it is for adulterous or marital unfaithfulness. But I want to say this. I have counselled many cases and in the Lord, coming together there will be reconciliation and they can have happy marriages. Don't give up. 

God has made it clear. They are not to divorce their wives simply because they added too much salt to their food. 

In divorces, not only the couple suffer but their children. I suspect God is interested in their children. God is interested in their marriage. We need to confront the ugly truth of divorce. Don't let Hollywood tell you it's okay. They are just actors and is paid. Don't let them fool you it's okay to have many partners and to sleep around. The word unfaithfulness is from the Greek word proneia from where you get the word pornography. It refers to any illicit sexual intercourse, whether it be adultery, homosexuality or incest. 

If we bring it to God there is hope even on cases of adultery. I have seen many cases and can testify to it. 

You know the word cleave in the bible? The word cleave signifies permanent attachment. Like glued together once you are married. 

Earlier I said marriage is like a contract or just a licence. Some people say no need to get married. It's just a piece of paper. I don't need to have a piece of paper to prove to you that I love you.

I put it this way. If you are stopped by the police can you tell the police no need license la. I don't need a piece of paper to prove I can drive. The police will still ask for that piece of paper. 

Would you tell your employer you don't need that piece of paper at the end of the month? You wouldn't need that cheque that you earned working for? Would you?

To let you know how important is that piece of paper, you have to bring your marriage cert to register your children's birth cert or IC. Even to do a passport I need that piece of paper. It's not just a piece of paper. It's not just a contract. 

Did you know that where a couple is married in a church the ratio of divorce drops to one divorce in 33 marriages? Did you know that where the couples are "regular" in church attendance, the ratio drops to one divorce in 105? When you stick with Jesus you can stick with each other.

Incidentally, there are other reasons why you ought to stick together. One of the most important investments you can ever make in your life financially is an enduring marriage. A National Institute of Ageing survey of 12,000 couples, ages 51 to 21, found that married couples are on average twice as wealthy as unmarried couples.

But for your own happiness you better think about sticking it out. 86% of unhappily married people who stay together find that five years later their marriages are happier. Three-quarters of people who have characterised their marriages as "very unhappy" but have nevertheless remained together, report five years later that the same marriages are either "very happy" or "quite happy." In the words of two prominent experts: "Permanent marital unhappiness is surprisingly rare among the couples who stick it out."

There was this woman who wanted to divorce her husband because he was a bully and treated her so badly. 

The woman came to a counsellor one time and said, "I cannot stand my husband, and I want to be as mean as I can to him."

The counsellor replied, "All right, if you want to really be mean to your husband here's what you do. Go home and tell your husband that you love him. Do everything possible to prove it. Do things that you've never thought to do for him before, and then when he's convinced you love him more than anybody else in the world, tell him you do not love him at all and you want a divorce. She said, "That sounds great, I'll do it."

In a few weeks she came back with a report that she had followed her counsellor's advice. The counsellor said, "Great, now you can sue for divorce." The woman looked at her and said, "Are you crazy? I've fallen in love with my husband for the first time in years and our marriage is more beautiful and happier than it's ever been."

Sometimes we are looking for a way out while God is looking for a way back in.

I am talking to those of you who are thinking of getting married. It is permanent. The escape clause is when death do us part. You make a decision to marry a person, it's for life. 

You may say what about the part where he or she is unfaithful? If you come together in the Lord, it need not end in divorce. It ain't' over till it's over. God can reconcile the relationship.