Called to Unity

Pastor Melinda Song

I never imagined a day when I would be glad to see all the seats in the sanctuary empty during a Sunday celebration worship service. That was what happened on 15 October 2017 and I was ecstatic with joy. Everyone was in a care group; no one was left out, not even the visitors. 

Ephesians 4:1-6, NIV 

1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

In Paul’s letters the first half are usually doctrinal and the second half are practical. Thus Paul spent the first 3 chapters of the book of Ephesians telling them about the things that the Lord has done for them. In the second half of the book, from Chapter 4 onwards, Paul tells them how they should respond to what the Lord has done for them. 

They are to live a life worthy of their calling as Christians which is seen when there is unity in the body of Christ.  

Unity is powerful

• 3 musketeers

• United we stand, divided we fall.

• In a Peanuts cartoon Lucy demanded that Linus change TV channels, threatening him with her fist if he didn't. "What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over?" asks Linus. "These five fingers," says Lucy. "Individually they're nothing but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold." "Which channel do you want?" asks Linus. Turning away, he looks at his fingers and says, "Why can't you guys get organized like that?"

• Tower of Babel

• Psalm 133

Unity is beautiful

• Synchronised diving

• Dancers in a ballet corp

• Football players on the field

• Migrating animals  

The key verse is found in verse 3 – Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit. The church must WORK at attaining and maintaining unity. 

• Unity is every leader’s challenge

• Unity is every believer’s choice

THE PROBLEM

People are the problem. We are the problem. 

We are all porcupines.

The German philosopher Schopenhauer compared the human race to a bunch of porcupines huddling together on a cold winter’s night. He said, ‘The colder it gets outside, the more we huddle together for warmth; but the closer we get to one another, the more we hurt one another with our sharp quills. And in the lonely night of earth’s winter eventually we begin to drift apart and wander out on our own and freeze to death in our loneliness.’” (Wayne Brouwer, Holland, Michigan. Leadership, Vol. 17, no. 2)

James writes, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1). 

We are all different with individual opinions and preferences.Compounded by our selfish natures, misunderstandings and offences lead to hurt, which later results in bitterness. But discord, dissension, and factions are works of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21)

THE SOLUTION

1. Cultivate the attitudes essential for unity. 

Attitude is about your state of mind; your mental and emotional position - and the expression of that in your daily dealings with events, with people and with God.

Ephesians 4:2, NIV

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 

John Stott refers to these as the “five foundation stones of Christian unity.” Many of these qualities are inter-related and sometimes it is difficult to differentiate between them 

Humble

In Paul’s day, ‘humility’ was considered a weakness or character flaw by the Greeks and the Romans. They did not have a word for ‘humility’ in their language.

So Paul created a new Greek word ‘tapeinophrosune’ whichliterally means “lowliness of mind”, which is considered one of the supreme virtues in Christianity. 

In Philippians 2, Paul showcases the Jesus as the supremeexample of humility (Phil. 2:5-11) and he calls us to have this same attitude of humility and lowliness that Christ had.

We are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think. Instead, we are to think of others and their needs over ours. We choose not to assert ourselves or lord over other people. 

It’s an attitude and a life choice. 

Warning! Humble yourself before God humbles you!

Gentle 

Gentleness or meekness is usually associated with weakness but it actually implies great strength being withheld. Think of a burly biker holding his newborndaughter. He is a powerful giant who can easily crush the frail little baby. So he holds her gently.

We also tend to think that being gentle means being compliant, mild-mannered and complacent but someone who is gentle can still get quite angry when circumstances call for it. Remember Jesus when he cleared out the temple? 

Gentleness, does not mean never getting angry. It means getting angry at the right time, in the right measure, and for the right reason. This is what is meant in Ephesians 4:26, which says, “Be angry, and do not sin.”

Patient 

The word here can also be translated long-suffering. This word was used when explosives were invented having a long fuse. Dynamite has the power to destroy and annihilatebut the length of the fuse will determine how fast it explodes. 

Here Paul calls us to have long fuses – the ability to bear insult and injury without bitterness and complaint.

All of us have power to cause a lot of destruction with our words and actions so we need to make sure we have a long fuse on our power. We are to exercise self-restraint, be self-controlled when provoked. We have a spirit which refuses to retaliate.

God’s patience toward us is the perfect example of patience. God, in His incredible patience works with us, and time after time forgives us. We should do so to others as well.

Bearing with one another

To bear with one another means to “put up with one another’s short comings.” It is like when parents put up with their children’s short comings because they love them andknow that they are maturing. 

We are all work in progress. Nobody is perfect, not me, not you. 

Love

This love is the unconditional, no-strings attached, unending, eternal agape love that Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13. It is the kind of love God has for us. 

If we love someone with agape love, it means that nothing he or she can do or does not do will make us seek anything but the highest good for them. It is the ability to love the unlovable, to love those who hate you and to love those who don’t want your love.

It is not an emotional love but a love bound to the will. It is the kind of love that keeps marriages going when the honeymoon is over. It is the kind of love that allows Christians to walk in unity.

We should do a heart-check once in a while using these fiveattitudes to find out whether we are living a life worthy of the calling we have received. 

2. Celebrate our diversity 

Unity is not uniformity – we are not robots or clones. 

Biblical unity comes from within and is a spiritual grace, while uniformity is the result of pressure from without.

We come from different backgrounds with a multitude of gifts and abilities. Our differences are not removed but are blended by God and moulded into one. We complement one another and together we make the body of Christ whole and complete.

Ephesians 4:3, NIV 

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Verse 3a - Making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit

Unity is not easy so we must be willing to work extra hard to maintain it. It is a word that a trainer of gladiators in Rome might have used when he sent one of his men to fight to the death in the coliseum: “Make every effort to stay alive today!”

Notice that Paul is not calling us to create or produce unity. He is telling us to keep what we already have in Christ! Unity is given to us by God when we become Christians, and it is simply our task to maintain it in the Spirit.

The phrase unity of the Spirit is just a way of saying that we are all one in the Spirit through the Holy Spirit who indwells us when we become Christians. When we partake of Holy Communion we are reminded that we all make up the loaf of bread. 

Verse 3b - In the bond of peace 

“Bond” refers to a ligament or a tendon. Tendons attach muscle to bone and ligaments attach bone to bone. From a physiotherapist’s point of view, if you had a choice between breaking a bone or tearing a ligament/tendon; choose to break bone even though it seems like a more painful and dramatic option to choose from. Why? Because they are much harder to heal than bone when damaged. [https://www.coreconcepts.com.sg/article/better-to-break-a-bone/]

The Holy Spirit has bonded all believers together, making us one in the family of God. As the Spirit of the Lord works in our lives we begin to bear the fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, PEACE. 

Peace with others begins with peace with God. If you are not at peace with God, there is no way you can be at peace with others. It is only when the peace of God rules in our hearts that we can build unity with one another (Col. 3:15; Jas. 3:13-4:10).

3. Concentrate on what unites us. 

The church is Ephesus was a diverse church made up of both Jewish and Gentile Christians. They struggled with being unified because they were so different. 

In Ephesians 2, Paul called them to be at peace with each other. Now he tells them how. Instead of focusing on the differences that are between them, they should focus on what they have in common which will help them live in unity and love with one another.

We may have disagreements about what kind of music should be played or sung in church. We might have disagreements about how best to run the church. We might have disagreements about what to wear, what people can or cannot drink, what people can or cannot eat and what sort of activities we can or cannot do. Such things will always divide us. Let is focus instead on what we have in common.

Ephesians 4:4-6, NIV

4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Our unity in the body of Christ rests upon the common bondthat we share as members of His body. All of the elements Paul mentions – one body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God, one Father – are the fruit of our relationship with God, freely given to us by His grace. 

Unity in the church would be an absolute impossibility if it were solely up to us but a careful look will reveal that the Trinitarian God is the unifying factor. Unity in the biblical sense only comes when both parties or all individuals submit to the authority of God and confess the same thing that God says. 

If we focus only on your differences, there will never be peace. A humorous story sums this up.

Some years ago, the elders of a Dutch church decided to send some people over to America to check up on the moral condition of the churches here. The observers were horrified. They reported to the Dutch elders that American women wore makeup and wore expensive clothes. The Americans also drove big cars, had carpets in the sanctuaries, and had both a piano and an organ! As the Dutch elders heard this report, some of them burst into tears, and the tears ran down their cigars and into their beer.

Let’s not focus on what divides us. Let’s focus on the unity we have in Christ.

But note that there is one thing we cannot and must not sacrifice for the sake of unity. TRUTH is a non-negotiable. 

The rule is, “In essentials, unity; in doubtful questions, liberty; in all things, charity.”

CONCLUSION

‘Unity’ in the body of Christ is critical if the body is to be healthy.  The body of Christ is like our physical bodies.  If all of the organs in a person’s body are not working together for the good of the whole then the body is going to be ill and hampered from optimal and full functionality as a result. Without ‘unity’ the body of Christ is ineffective for the Lord.

A unified church is also an incredible testimony to non-believers of God’s working in and through our lives. The unity and diversity of God's people is to reflect the perfect harmony of love and diversity of working in Persons of the Trinity. The Church thus reveals the glory of God. 

‘Unity’ in the body of Christ is so important that in Jesus’ high priestly prayer for His disciples just before going to the cross was that His disciples then and on into the future might be “one.” He prayed: 

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:20-23) 

Unity pleases God and it is there that He commands His blessing (Psalm 133). 

So is unity possible? Absolutely because it is of God. Unity is already ours. We only have to be diligent in preserving the bond of peace that the Holy Spirit has produced within us. It is our CHOICE to either keep (preserve) the unity or destroy it. 

The Power of the Holy Spirit

Ps Koay Kheng Hin

If you remember, the years in TOP I have not preached on the power of the Holy Spirit. Today I am led to teach on this. It will not be something that covers everything on the Holy Spirit but have taken snippets out on what I think the Lord wants us to be aware of.

As the church prepares for 2018, there is this consciousness or awareness of the reality of the person of the Holy Spirit. I know there is the Holy Spirit but I want to go a step further. That he is working in you and the church on a daily basis. He is there all the time even if you cannot see it. Even as I sat there and asked the Lord to anoint me, he is there in our midst.

We serve one God but in the Bible, we know that God is three persons. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. How do we square all this? I've been working at this for a long time. I rest on the fact that there is one being of God but there are three persons of God.

My mum asked me and I tried to explain to her in Hokkien. After one hour she looked at me and said she's more confused.

Acts 1:8 (NIV)

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

All of you will know this verse as a cardinal verse for the Assemblies of God.

Acts 2:4 (NIV)

All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

The Holy Spirit is a person and not a force. The Jehovah Witnesses will tell you the Holy Spirit is a force and not a person. I want you to think. The Bible describes to us that the attributes of God is present in all three persons. There is no lack of holiness in all three persons. But having said that, we have to understand that in each of these person there is a focus on their attributes.

When we think of God the Father, what do we see? What comes out is what we call the transcendence glorious majesty of God. The almighty comes to the fore. Transcendence means there's an otherness to it.  He is the infinity of God and beyond comprehension.

What about Jesus? When we look at God the Son, what comes into focus is the imminent agape love of God. In him he exhibits and expressed in Romans 5:8. He is incarnate to be a man and we can relate to him. We sense and become aware of the imminent agape love of God. What about the Holy Spirit? When you read and look at the Holy Spirit what do we see?

It's in Acts 8:1. It says you will receive power. It did not say you will see love or the perfect glory of God. He is meant to manifest to us the dunamis power of God. When we say anoint us we are looking at the power of the Holy Spirit.

What power is in the Holy Spirit? It's not a natural but a supernatural power of God. It is spiritual power of God. And this is what TOP needs for 2018.

I want to look at this supernatural power. In the Old Testament it's been expressed in so many ways.

Judges 14:6 (NIV)

The Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him so that he tore the lion apart with his bare hands as he might have torn a young goat. But he told neither his father nor his mother what he had done.

The Bible describes the lion as a matured lion. A strong lion. But the Bible wants to give us this impression that this lion was being torn apart with his bare hands as if it was a goat. In those times, the lion was seen as a powerful beast.

Today when you pray to the Holy Spirit, I don't think you'll pray to be like Samson as you can just use a gun. So how do we get empowered through the Holy Spirit?

This scripture talked about Peter and John.

Acts 4:8 (NIV)

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people!

Acts 4:13 (NIV)

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

In verse 8, Peter talked to these religious leaders who are daunting during those times. These leaders saw the courage of Peter and John. He saw them as unschooled ordinary men yet they saw him talk with boldness and that they had been with Jesus.

I had been asked by this nephew of mine. I had a good time with him. I told him that in my years in working with the word of God and have been asked so many questions there is nothing new under the sun. The one question I've been asked on and off is how to have the power of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Verse 13 is the answer. That this man has been with Jesus. This is the first insight I want to impart to all of us. If you have really spent time with Jesus that power of the Holy Spirit will grow in your life. Jesus works in tandem with the Holy Spirit. As a man spend time with the Lord, and we all do it differently. If you ask Alvin, I think he'll say he play the guitar and spend time with God. Some like me will be in the word. And for others it will be in prayer.

If you spend time with the Lord the power of the Holy Spirit will be in you.

Acts 4:31 (NIV)

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

It is manifested in boldness. If you look at me up here you think I'm confident. But I want to tell you I'm not a bold or confident person. Every time I come out, I always tell myself Jesus must become greater and I must become less.

The other is Moses. The Lord has sent me up here. It gives you a sense of boldness. To all the cell leaders, do not think you don't know the Bible enough or you are not good enough. On Friday, just say the Lord has sent you. The power of the Holy Spirit will rest upon you with boldness.

Now let's talk about this little monk called Martin Luther. He was speaking against the Roman Catholic Church. Going against the church means he was also going against the Roman emperor. He was summoned and all they wanted him to do was to say he was wrong. The Pope and the Roman emperor agreed to this. History tells us that Martin Luther was a great man of God. His answer was barely audible. All those who went against the church was burnt at the stake or killed. He asked to be given more time and the emperor gave him 24 hours.

Something happened that night. The next day he came and there was a supernatural power. He confronted the emperor and the whole assembly. Finally he said, my conscience is kept intact and I cannot recant and unless you can show me in the word of God that I am wrong. Here I stand I can do no more. God help me.

There is a supernatural boldness that will come upon you. You need to spend time with Jesus. No short cut.

Number two, you may think you are not good enough, or afraid. Look at Peter, he also denied Christ. But he was a changed Peter and by tradition, he asked to be crucified upside down because he said he was not worthy to be crucified like Christ. Something must have changed for someone who denied Christ.

Let's look at Paul. His is a little different. Paul talked about the power of the Holy Spirit as in what he does in you.

Galatians 5:16 (NIV)

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Paul says you will bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit by being empowered and transformed by the Holy Spirit. It's not about changing their character.

I'm a man who from young has not been very ambitious. A man of small dreams. I just want to be able to work and not see my parents work hard or my father have to ride the trishaw or my mother iron clothes till late at night. A man with small dreams.

Years pass and they are in heaven in the Lord. My youngest brother is the father of two children. I sometimes ask how's he doing. One fine day I realised they have all grown up and learnt to let go of my brothers.

If you ask me now that I'm retiring at 60 years old what's on your mind? My siblings are doing quite well. Financially better than me. So what's the next task? I believe maybe you all think I'm taking the church to the next level.

I wake up and I ask the Lord to be a better person. I was very blessed on Friday. I was blessed at cell. There have been instances when words that came out of my mouth has not been wise words, not perfect. I told myself this area I have a lot of work to do. You may be wondering why I feel that, thinking that I'm actually okay and not a troublesome person.

I think it's because when you read Galatians 5:22, the natural man will refer to the person next to you. You will think you have more patience or more loving than the person next to you. That's because you compare yourself with man. People will always compare with people worst themselves.

But if you spent time with God and no man to compare then you realised that there is so much that the Lord can empower us. The pursue of your character into more like Jesus, there is blessing. When you ask the Holy Spirit to work in you it doesn't take very long. Give yourself three months and you will realise many things.

There is a certain rest in you as God change you. And you don't realise the change and is happier today. You see things differently around you. How can you be happy if you only look into what's not right but don't want to change.

The second blessing is in that we try to bring the good news to our friends. When you manifest the fruit of the Holy Spirit, your evangelistic effort begins to bear fruit. When you asked them to come to church but they refused but now as a change man, your message is only as effective as the messenger.

One of the gifts that I have is that I can relate to a lot of people. One day this young man told me, he said my advice cannot pakai wan. But when I come and talk to you, I go back, I feel very nice, relaxed and joyful. I thought about it and it's impartation. We impart the peace. The person feels good because you are imparting the peace of God. The joy in your heart will affect those around you.

If you are papaya face but you tell them about the joy of the Lord it won't work. The message is as good as the messenger.

You will receive power. You can see it individually and you can see it corporately. As a believer the Holy Spirit will empower you with boldness and empower you to have the fruit of the Holy Spirit and you will be blessed.

When you ask a person if he wants to be holy, often they'll said not for me, maybe you leaders only. But if you ask them if they want to have more peace. Be more loving, be more patient, they'll say yes. That's being holy.

1 Corinthians 12:7-11 (NIV)

7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

That gift is given to the church as a steward. It does not belong to you. When a person say I have the gift of prophecy, they see it as their gift. Like me, I've the gift of teaching but this gift used to be for myself. It's a gift to edify and build the church. And it's important. So Important that a whole chapter is given to it. It's gifts from the same spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV)

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

There is no one person with all gifts except for the perfect man Jesus. The fundamental truth is that we have only three perspective.

The church that do not manifest the power of the Holy Spirit because they have not spent time with the Lord.

The second one is they spent time with the Lord but they are not surrendered and no unity. The church has their own area of dominion. That church will not be edified and build up.

The last is that the gift has been poured out. We just need to exercise it as the church, one body.  But it must be with love or it's nothing.

How did Samson turned out? Very very sad. Someone that had the anointing in his life.

Judges 16:19-20 (NIV)

19 After putting him to sleep on her lap, she called for someone to shave off the seven braids of his hair, and so began to subdue him. And his strength left him.

20 Then she called, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!”

He awoke from his sleep and thought, “I’ll go out as before and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the Lord had left him.

What was wrong with Samson? Did he exercise his gift? Yes. Did he had the power? Yes. So what happened. Samson forgot God. Previously the Bible showed Samson mentioned I love you to God but later it was to Delilah.

John 16:14 (NIV)

He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you.

The Holy Spirit will always glorify Jesus.

Acts 1:8 (NIV)

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

That's why this verse says we will be witnesses. Witnesses of who? Jesus.

The problem is that when we receive the power and we focus on the power and not Jesus, it will not last. We may have the power but we need the love of Jesus in our hearts. We need to be very Christ-centred people.

I want to encourage the church that in 2018, we want to ask of the Holy Spirit for that anointing of power upon the church. Upon you and me individually. And as the church we will have a supernatural working of the church and the church will never be the same again.

Whatever ministry you are in, it's the gift of the Holy Spirit and it's given to you to build the church and not just to empower.

Not by might and not by power but by my Spirit saith the Lord.

Was Joseph A Good Dad?

Kenny Song at Harvest Revival Centre

http://harvestrevivalcentre.com/

How many here are fathers, may I see your hands? Grandfathers? My hands are also raised, both hands, because I have two grandsons. That's my daughter Pam with my two grandsons while on holiday. I learned a long time ago becoming a father is much easier than being one. I became a father at 24 so you can imagine the responsibilities that came with it when I was just getting my footing on my business and married life.

Fathers, tell me if these words sound familiar.

- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

- How should I know? Go ask your mother.

- Just wait till you have kids of your own.

- Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?

- When you make your own money, you buy what you want!

- Stop playing with your food.

- Quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!

- Why? Because I said so!

- My pocket money was only 20 cents.

- Buy what toys? I make my own toys when growing up.

And my favourite:

- When I was your age…

Fathers…do these sound familiar? We fathers may be very different and comes from all walks of life but there are some things only fathers can relate to. Like I said, being a father is no easy task. We have to provide, protect, instruct and discipline our children on a practical level and love and guide them spiritually.

Today, I want to look at one particular father mentioned in the bible. He is responsible for the upbringing of the Son of God. Who's that?

I titled my message, "Was Joseph a good dad?"

We have don’t have much Biblical material to work with, but I believe that Joseph like us, struggled with being a “dad” as well. In many ways, I feel for Joseph. While Mary is lifted up as the one who sacrificed, Joseph is peripheral where even in the Biblical accounts, only a few passages tell his story. Joseph was the earthly father of Jesus, the man entrusted to raise the Son of God.

Matthew 1:19-20

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

Joseph was a righteous, merciful, discrete, obedient and intelligent man, who followed God’s direction in the midst of other options.

And we know that Jesus of Nazareth came directly from his Joseph’s lineage. Jesus spent thirty years with his family before his ministry. And I have to believe that Jesus picked up his personality traits not only from His heavenly Father to whom he gives much of the credit, but also from his earthly father, who was there at least in those beginning years.

Skilled as a carpenter in the small town of Nazareth, Joseph spent time teaching his son the trade as well as providing spiritual training. Jesus is very often described as working and being taught by Joseph in his carpenter’s shop. This was an inherited occupation Jesus performed before going into His ministry. We see this today as well, as businessmen hand the mantle over to their sons or daughters. What the father does, often influences the career choices of their children.

When Jesus spoke of God as being like a loving Father, he could draw from his youth the kind of love he had from Joseph. Joseph stands as a testimony to the value of integrity, obedience, faithfulness, and especially to honouring the entrusted role of "fatherhood.” 

So, this morning let's look at Joseph and see how he was a good father.

1. First and foremost, Joseph loved his wife

Ephesians 5:28 says, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.”

There is no doubt that children watch their parents…

I strongly believe that to be a good father, you must first and foremost be a good husband (not just because my wife is here ya).

If they see disrespect, statistics show that it will carry into the children’s marriage. If they see verbal, mental, or physical abuse, children will think that to be normal. If there is little value given to wives and to the opposite spouse, children will use that model in their future homes, families, and marriages.

Words between husbands and wives, like please, sorry and thank you will be picked up by your children. During their formative years, they are like a sponge and pick up everything.

That is why when children swear, or behave rudely, it often reflects on their parents, carbon copies of the original.

Often, we use the term wreaked marriages that ends up in divorce. Have we considered the wreaked lives of their children because of the divorce? Their insecurities, their pain, and the helplessness of seeing their parents split apart.

But…

If they visibly see love and respect, it will be modelled in their marriage and family. If the father honours the mother (and vice versa), that is exactly what the children will look for in their marriage.

If the parents cherish one another, love each other, then that will carry into the children’s lives as they grow older.

That familiar Proverb rings true, “Train up a child in the way they should go: and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” (22:6)

The earthly Jesus treated women with respect. Probably more respect than any other religious leader of his day…

He loved his mom. Even to the point of making sure that she would be cared for as he died on the cross.

He valued each and every person. Whether the thief on the cross or the solider or the blind or the sick...he saw value in each person.

When Joseph had the decision before him to either leave Mary quietly or make a big fuss, even in the midst of his own pain, he wanted to do what was best for Mary, sacrificing himself, his reputation.

Jesus did the same as he gave himself up because of his love for the church. I believe he first saw that all-giving love in his father’s love for his mother. If we want to be good fathers, we need to love our wives, just as Joseph did.

2. Second, Joseph didn’t expect perfect children

I remember when my daughter came into this world, and I carried our baby for the first time, I just whispered to myself…perfect. We were very specific when we prayed for our daughter before she was born. We named her Pam after Pamela Ewing, that TV series playing at that time, because the actress was the kindest person in the TV series. Anyone knows what TV series is that?

We prayed that she would have dimples, my skin, my wife's chin, my nose, my wife's ears…and you know what? God answered every one of our heart's desire for her. She even has four dimples, though we never prayed specifically for that. Perfect. Babies are such angels. Then they grow up and how often we hear parents scream at those "little devils". We quickly learn they are not perfect.

The story in Luke of Jesus in the temple is one example. The parents take off expecting Jesus to be playing with his friends only to find out that they’ve lost their kid. (Anybody ever been there?). Have you ever suddenly lost your child for a moment, like maybe at the malls?

I remembered when I was an 8 year old, my mother took me shopping along Penang Road. We were from Alor Star. She was busy looking at clothes with my auntie, when a bald man suddenly grabbed me and ran towards Chowrasta Market. Other pedestrians shouted at him and he dropped me after about 50 meters. My mother ran and grabbed me and just held on to me crying. That feeling where you think you have lost your child. After she calmed down, I remember vividly what she told me next. "Don't tell your father". :)

Mary asked Jesus, “Why have you done this to us?” and Jesus’ response, “Did you not know that I must be about my father’s business?”

We know now what Jesus was talking about, and today we don’t fault him for this, because we understand that Jesus had a different agenda than mom or dad.

But I’d be willing to admit that Joseph had a long talk with his son on the way back home just as I would have done if that happened to my daughter.

But the point is that just as there are no perfect fathers, there was only one perfect child in Jesus Christ.

As fathers, we cannot expect children to meet all our expectations, to fulfill all our goals for them, to be what we want them to be. They are not perfect.

I was not perfect growing up. I was lazy, played a lot and exam results were never stellar. I was an average student. So when I got my results for Form 6, HSC, I failed. But I love to draw, so I told my father I want to join an Art College. Those days, Art was very different from Design Schools today. My relatives discouraged my father, saying I can never make good money and job options are few. They say artists only make money after they die.

But my dad sat me down and asked me this. Are you sure that's what you want to do? I said yes! And he took me out to Penang to register at an Art College and because of his encouragement and support, I have loved my work and I praise God I didn’t do too badly either. My dad didn’t ask for a perfect son, he just loved me, imperfect as I was.

Spilled milk, broken things here and there, a poorly written test, a dent in the family car… children make mistakes and they are far from perfect. Things can always be replaced but a broken heart is hard to mend.

But it’s the good father, like Joseph, who, even when he doesn’t understand his child, like that time in the temple, says “that’s okay, let’s go home.”

Fathers, our children may be clumsy or athletic, scatter-brained or organised, shy or cakap banyak, crude or sophisticated… love them for who they are, they are your children.

Colossians 3:21 says – “Fathers, don’t make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged.”

If we want to be good fathers, we need to understand that our children are far from perfect. Just love and encourage them.

3. For our last point this morning, Joseph did all that he could do for his child

If you turn in your Bibles to Matthew 2:13-23, we see the familiar story of Joseph taking his family to Egypt and then to Nazareth by direction of angels.

Can you imagine leaving house and home, job and career, family homestead and family ties, to pick up and move to a foreign land, just because an angel told you so?

I have to believe that Joseph was a man of prayer. And no one can contest the fact the Joseph wasn’t in direct communication with God.

For his child, for his family, and for himself, I am sure that Joseph was in prayer. Even when he and Mary couldn’t be with Jesus, they knew that where they couldn’t be, God could be.

As fathers, we need to pray for our children and our families and to God for our strength. Why? Because our Heavenly Father loves our children and our families as much as we do…even more…Amen?

I also believe that Joseph did all that he could do for his family, he prepared his children.

Joseph not only prepared his child to leave home, he prepared Jesus for a lifetime, and beyond.

Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.”

Preparing our children for that day when they finally leave our home is only part of the picture. Preparing them to live a productive lifetime in this world experiencing success and coping with failure, is another integral part, but it’s just that…a part.

As fathers, mothers, grandfathers, and grandmothers, we need to be preparing our children for eternity. God didn’t give us our children just to be doctors, teachers, engineers, lawyers, or preachers. He gave them to us to prepare them for everlasting life through Jesus Christ.

While we can’t choose for them, we CAN choose to show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life that leads to salvation, and their spiritual destiny. As parents, we need to be giving our children every opportunity to accept Christ for themselves.

We can’t choose for them, we can’t decide which path they are going to take, but we can set the example. I believe this is what Joseph did. Jesus knew about his spiritual heritage because of his parent’s devotion.

We, as parents, can have a Godly influence on our children. Let us never forget that their physical presence in this world is only a shadow of what eternity will be.

If we want to be good fathers, we need to do all that we can do for our families, just as Joseph did.

I do not have to tell you that Fatherhood is not doing well in our society…

Some sad and tragic incidents have happened right at our doorsteps. A group of young children riding their bicycles dangerously in the wee hours of the morning was mowed down. Where were their fathers?

Just this week a young 18 year old teenager, Nhaveen was physically and sexually attacked, because he was different and was declared brain dead before he succumbed to his injuries. Why? He knew those boys. Somebody wrote an article titled: Bullies are not born. They are raised. Where were their fathers in their upbringing?

It's not just here but it is happening everywhere. Children hardly see their fathers. I call them "Disappearing dads". Who do these children turn to for advice and guidance. Mr Google has replaced many fathers. It's sad. Google can give you information, but not Godly guidance.

My daughter Pam loves talking to my wife. They can spend hours talking. I also don't know WHAT they talk about? So much to say meh? She gives her emotional support, shares her hurts and joys, and tell each other what's happening in their lives.

Then when advice is needed, my wife will often tell her, go ask your father. Every time I get a call from her, it's for advice, opinions and decisions. That's what I'm there for. She runs to me in her time of need.

When she was just about 7 years old, she was crossing the road and the person watching her lost sight of her for 2 seconds and a motorcyclist rammed into her and she was flung meters away. I carried her in my arms and we rushed her to Gleneagles. Her waist area was turning blue black. Thank God it was only bruises because the doctor said she was so light she didn’t take the full impact.

But during that time at the hospital, she refused to let me go. Just wanting daddy to be beside. Fathers, we give our child assurance and security. It makes a world of a difference for them. A feeling only fathers can give.

Studies of young criminals have found that more than 70% of juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes. Children from broken families are nearly twice as likely as those in two-parent families to drop out of high school.

Now, more than ever, I believe that as fathers, we need to be positive role models. The most precious commodity we can give to our children are our prayers and our time. Not things.

Let us fathers learn from Joseph.

• We have to love our wives.
• We have to understand that our children are not perfect.
• We have to do all that we can do for our families.

Will you join me in prayer this morning for all fathers, grandfathers and spiritual fathers….

God, our Father, in your wisdom and love you made all things, including each and everyone of us. We give you thanks in that you are not absent, but present with us.

Bless our fathers, may they be strengthened by their faith, may they become an example of your love, and may they honour you always.

For those fathers, who have given us life and love, we show them our respect and love.

For those fathers who have lost a child through death, we pray that their faith will bring them hope and comfort.

For men, though without children, who have nurtured and cared for us as spiritual fathers, we give you thanks.

And for those fathers who are struggling, we pray for strength and wisdom that comes from you, our Abba Father.

Amen.

Wonderful worship. Love that song Good, Good Father.

Senior Pastor Rev Dr Benard Augustine

Sermon titled: "Was Joseph a Good Dad?"