Was Joseph A Good Dad?

Kenny Song at Harvest Revival Centre

http://harvestrevivalcentre.com/

How many here are fathers, may I see your hands? Grandfathers? My hands are also raised, both hands, because I have two grandsons. That's my daughter Pam with my two grandsons while on holiday. I learned a long time ago becoming a father is much easier than being one. I became a father at 24 so you can imagine the responsibilities that came with it when I was just getting my footing on my business and married life.

Fathers, tell me if these words sound familiar.

- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

- How should I know? Go ask your mother.

- Just wait till you have kids of your own.

- Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?

- When you make your own money, you buy what you want!

- Stop playing with your food.

- Quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!

- Why? Because I said so!

- My pocket money was only 20 cents.

- Buy what toys? I make my own toys when growing up.

And my favourite:

- When I was your age…

Fathers…do these sound familiar? We fathers may be very different and comes from all walks of life but there are some things only fathers can relate to. Like I said, being a father is no easy task. We have to provide, protect, instruct and discipline our children on a practical level and love and guide them spiritually.

Today, I want to look at one particular father mentioned in the bible. He is responsible for the upbringing of the Son of God. Who's that?

I titled my message, "Was Joseph a good dad?"

We have don’t have much Biblical material to work with, but I believe that Joseph like us, struggled with being a “dad” as well. In many ways, I feel for Joseph. While Mary is lifted up as the one who sacrificed, Joseph is peripheral where even in the Biblical accounts, only a few passages tell his story. Joseph was the earthly father of Jesus, the man entrusted to raise the Son of God.

Matthew 1:19-20

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

Joseph was a righteous, merciful, discrete, obedient and intelligent man, who followed God’s direction in the midst of other options.

And we know that Jesus of Nazareth came directly from his Joseph’s lineage. Jesus spent thirty years with his family before his ministry. And I have to believe that Jesus picked up his personality traits not only from His heavenly Father to whom he gives much of the credit, but also from his earthly father, who was there at least in those beginning years.

Skilled as a carpenter in the small town of Nazareth, Joseph spent time teaching his son the trade as well as providing spiritual training. Jesus is very often described as working and being taught by Joseph in his carpenter’s shop. This was an inherited occupation Jesus performed before going into His ministry. We see this today as well, as businessmen hand the mantle over to their sons or daughters. What the father does, often influences the career choices of their children.

When Jesus spoke of God as being like a loving Father, he could draw from his youth the kind of love he had from Joseph. Joseph stands as a testimony to the value of integrity, obedience, faithfulness, and especially to honouring the entrusted role of "fatherhood.” 

So, this morning let's look at Joseph and see how he was a good father.

1. First and foremost, Joseph loved his wife

Ephesians 5:28 says, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.”

There is no doubt that children watch their parents…

I strongly believe that to be a good father, you must first and foremost be a good husband (not just because my wife is here ya).

If they see disrespect, statistics show that it will carry into the children’s marriage. If they see verbal, mental, or physical abuse, children will think that to be normal. If there is little value given to wives and to the opposite spouse, children will use that model in their future homes, families, and marriages.

Words between husbands and wives, like please, sorry and thank you will be picked up by your children. During their formative years, they are like a sponge and pick up everything.

That is why when children swear, or behave rudely, it often reflects on their parents, carbon copies of the original.

Often, we use the term wreaked marriages that ends up in divorce. Have we considered the wreaked lives of their children because of the divorce? Their insecurities, their pain, and the helplessness of seeing their parents split apart.

But…

If they visibly see love and respect, it will be modelled in their marriage and family. If the father honours the mother (and vice versa), that is exactly what the children will look for in their marriage.

If the parents cherish one another, love each other, then that will carry into the children’s lives as they grow older.

That familiar Proverb rings true, “Train up a child in the way they should go: and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” (22:6)

The earthly Jesus treated women with respect. Probably more respect than any other religious leader of his day…

He loved his mom. Even to the point of making sure that she would be cared for as he died on the cross.

He valued each and every person. Whether the thief on the cross or the solider or the blind or the sick...he saw value in each person.

When Joseph had the decision before him to either leave Mary quietly or make a big fuss, even in the midst of his own pain, he wanted to do what was best for Mary, sacrificing himself, his reputation.

Jesus did the same as he gave himself up because of his love for the church. I believe he first saw that all-giving love in his father’s love for his mother. If we want to be good fathers, we need to love our wives, just as Joseph did.

2. Second, Joseph didn’t expect perfect children

I remember when my daughter came into this world, and I carried our baby for the first time, I just whispered to myself…perfect. We were very specific when we prayed for our daughter before she was born. We named her Pam after Pamela Ewing, that TV series playing at that time, because the actress was the kindest person in the TV series. Anyone knows what TV series is that?

We prayed that she would have dimples, my skin, my wife's chin, my nose, my wife's ears…and you know what? God answered every one of our heart's desire for her. She even has four dimples, though we never prayed specifically for that. Perfect. Babies are such angels. Then they grow up and how often we hear parents scream at those "little devils". We quickly learn they are not perfect.

The story in Luke of Jesus in the temple is one example. The parents take off expecting Jesus to be playing with his friends only to find out that they’ve lost their kid. (Anybody ever been there?). Have you ever suddenly lost your child for a moment, like maybe at the malls?

I remembered when I was an 8 year old, my mother took me shopping along Penang Road. We were from Alor Star. She was busy looking at clothes with my auntie, when a bald man suddenly grabbed me and ran towards Chowrasta Market. Other pedestrians shouted at him and he dropped me after about 50 meters. My mother ran and grabbed me and just held on to me crying. That feeling where you think you have lost your child. After she calmed down, I remember vividly what she told me next. "Don't tell your father". :)

Mary asked Jesus, “Why have you done this to us?” and Jesus’ response, “Did you not know that I must be about my father’s business?”

We know now what Jesus was talking about, and today we don’t fault him for this, because we understand that Jesus had a different agenda than mom or dad.

But I’d be willing to admit that Joseph had a long talk with his son on the way back home just as I would have done if that happened to my daughter.

But the point is that just as there are no perfect fathers, there was only one perfect child in Jesus Christ.

As fathers, we cannot expect children to meet all our expectations, to fulfill all our goals for them, to be what we want them to be. They are not perfect.

I was not perfect growing up. I was lazy, played a lot and exam results were never stellar. I was an average student. So when I got my results for Form 6, HSC, I failed. But I love to draw, so I told my father I want to join an Art College. Those days, Art was very different from Design Schools today. My relatives discouraged my father, saying I can never make good money and job options are few. They say artists only make money after they die.

But my dad sat me down and asked me this. Are you sure that's what you want to do? I said yes! And he took me out to Penang to register at an Art College and because of his encouragement and support, I have loved my work and I praise God I didn’t do too badly either. My dad didn’t ask for a perfect son, he just loved me, imperfect as I was.

Spilled milk, broken things here and there, a poorly written test, a dent in the family car… children make mistakes and they are far from perfect. Things can always be replaced but a broken heart is hard to mend.

But it’s the good father, like Joseph, who, even when he doesn’t understand his child, like that time in the temple, says “that’s okay, let’s go home.”

Fathers, our children may be clumsy or athletic, scatter-brained or organised, shy or cakap banyak, crude or sophisticated… love them for who they are, they are your children.

Colossians 3:21 says – “Fathers, don’t make your children resentful, or they will become discouraged.”

If we want to be good fathers, we need to understand that our children are far from perfect. Just love and encourage them.

3. For our last point this morning, Joseph did all that he could do for his child

If you turn in your Bibles to Matthew 2:13-23, we see the familiar story of Joseph taking his family to Egypt and then to Nazareth by direction of angels.

Can you imagine leaving house and home, job and career, family homestead and family ties, to pick up and move to a foreign land, just because an angel told you so?

I have to believe that Joseph was a man of prayer. And no one can contest the fact the Joseph wasn’t in direct communication with God.

For his child, for his family, and for himself, I am sure that Joseph was in prayer. Even when he and Mary couldn’t be with Jesus, they knew that where they couldn’t be, God could be.

As fathers, we need to pray for our children and our families and to God for our strength. Why? Because our Heavenly Father loves our children and our families as much as we do…even more…Amen?

I also believe that Joseph did all that he could do for his family, he prepared his children.

Joseph not only prepared his child to leave home, he prepared Jesus for a lifetime, and beyond.

Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.”

Preparing our children for that day when they finally leave our home is only part of the picture. Preparing them to live a productive lifetime in this world experiencing success and coping with failure, is another integral part, but it’s just that…a part.

As fathers, mothers, grandfathers, and grandmothers, we need to be preparing our children for eternity. God didn’t give us our children just to be doctors, teachers, engineers, lawyers, or preachers. He gave them to us to prepare them for everlasting life through Jesus Christ.

While we can’t choose for them, we CAN choose to show them the Way, the Truth, and the Life that leads to salvation, and their spiritual destiny. As parents, we need to be giving our children every opportunity to accept Christ for themselves.

We can’t choose for them, we can’t decide which path they are going to take, but we can set the example. I believe this is what Joseph did. Jesus knew about his spiritual heritage because of his parent’s devotion.

We, as parents, can have a Godly influence on our children. Let us never forget that their physical presence in this world is only a shadow of what eternity will be.

If we want to be good fathers, we need to do all that we can do for our families, just as Joseph did.

I do not have to tell you that Fatherhood is not doing well in our society…

Some sad and tragic incidents have happened right at our doorsteps. A group of young children riding their bicycles dangerously in the wee hours of the morning was mowed down. Where were their fathers?

Just this week a young 18 year old teenager, Nhaveen was physically and sexually attacked, because he was different and was declared brain dead before he succumbed to his injuries. Why? He knew those boys. Somebody wrote an article titled: Bullies are not born. They are raised. Where were their fathers in their upbringing?

It's not just here but it is happening everywhere. Children hardly see their fathers. I call them "Disappearing dads". Who do these children turn to for advice and guidance. Mr Google has replaced many fathers. It's sad. Google can give you information, but not Godly guidance.

My daughter Pam loves talking to my wife. They can spend hours talking. I also don't know WHAT they talk about? So much to say meh? She gives her emotional support, shares her hurts and joys, and tell each other what's happening in their lives.

Then when advice is needed, my wife will often tell her, go ask your father. Every time I get a call from her, it's for advice, opinions and decisions. That's what I'm there for. She runs to me in her time of need.

When she was just about 7 years old, she was crossing the road and the person watching her lost sight of her for 2 seconds and a motorcyclist rammed into her and she was flung meters away. I carried her in my arms and we rushed her to Gleneagles. Her waist area was turning blue black. Thank God it was only bruises because the doctor said she was so light she didn’t take the full impact.

But during that time at the hospital, she refused to let me go. Just wanting daddy to be beside. Fathers, we give our child assurance and security. It makes a world of a difference for them. A feeling only fathers can give.

Studies of young criminals have found that more than 70% of juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes. Children from broken families are nearly twice as likely as those in two-parent families to drop out of high school.

Now, more than ever, I believe that as fathers, we need to be positive role models. The most precious commodity we can give to our children are our prayers and our time. Not things.

Let us fathers learn from Joseph.

• We have to love our wives.
• We have to understand that our children are not perfect.
• We have to do all that we can do for our families.

Will you join me in prayer this morning for all fathers, grandfathers and spiritual fathers….

God, our Father, in your wisdom and love you made all things, including each and everyone of us. We give you thanks in that you are not absent, but present with us.

Bless our fathers, may they be strengthened by their faith, may they become an example of your love, and may they honour you always.

For those fathers, who have given us life and love, we show them our respect and love.

For those fathers who have lost a child through death, we pray that their faith will bring them hope and comfort.

For men, though without children, who have nurtured and cared for us as spiritual fathers, we give you thanks.

And for those fathers who are struggling, we pray for strength and wisdom that comes from you, our Abba Father.

Amen.

Wonderful worship. Love that song Good, Good Father.

Senior Pastor Rev Dr Benard Augustine

Sermon titled: "Was Joseph a Good Dad?"