Forgiveness

Rev Gideon Lee

What did I preached on last week? How to handle conflicts in the church as God has given us the ministry of reconciliation. The bible says everything we do let us do it in love. We can beg to differ but in our difference we must still be friends. We must not let it affect out relationships. Some people asked me does that mean if we have a problem we cannot see you? If you have a problem you can come and see me. But if it's a conflict with another person, talk to the person first. That's what the bible says. We need to mature. We don't want to be babies all the time. 

If the person does not want to reconcile then bring two or three people as mediators as peacemakers. These are mature Christians who is respected. Or any leaders but the key point is that they are peacemakers. But if the person still won't listen, bring the church along. Who are they? The leaders, the deacons of the church also as peacemakers, with the purpose of reconciliation. And if he still will not listen, what do we do? Excommunicate him? The bible says treat them like pagans and tax collectors. The question is how did Jesus treated people like that, he loved them in order to bring them back. 

Matthew 18:21-35

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

When Jesus says forgive seventy times. Some versions says seventy times seven times. What does that mean? It means as often as possible. As much as possible. 

If you don't already notice, the passage last week talks about how to handle conflicts. And immediately now it speaks about forgiveness. It is not by accident. The bible follows a theme. 

Forgiveness is an integral part of handling conflicts. Forgiveness is a necessary part about reconciliation. And after this the next passage talks about divorce. 

We can sometimes learn from children. You know I have four children. Josiah and Elena likes to play with each other. You look at them they are ao kind and love one another. But you can see sometimes when they fight, it's fierce. So when they fight I have to be the referee. I'll tell them to stop or they will get a canning. So grudgingly sometimes the guilty one will say "I'm sorry la". But the thing is once the sorry is said, they become best friends again. We can learn from this. Because as adults sometimes even though we say sorry, the other party may doubt our sincerity and the relationship is not fully restored yet.

This morning I want to talk about what forgiveness can do for us. 

There is a Chinese proverb that says the person who seeks revenge should dig two graves. Why? When we don't forgive a person it eats us up. We often talk about rights. We talk about our feelings. 

Simon Peter came to Jesus and asked Jesus how many times to forgive a person. Knowing Peter, he probably thought Jesus will give give him praise because in the Jewish tradition it says forgive three times. So when Jesus answered he was shocked. And Jesus went on to tell a parable.

1. Forgiveness is Possible

No matter how deep the wound is. Why? Because we are a forgiven people. Imagine what Jesus suffered for us. He died on the cross for our forgiveness. That's why he talked about divorce because in an atmosphere of love there is no divorce. 

But sometimes the problem is we do not want to let the offense go. There was a lady who said she cannot let go because of the hurt. But the pastor said she must and she can. So the pastor told her to do something. Churches then has a steeple and there's a bell there which must be pulled to swing the bell like a pendulum and the bell rings to announce service starts. The pastor told her to let it go after pulling one time. 

And the bell will ring once loudly and as the bell swings the ring gets softer and softer. And she understood. If you let go, the hurt gets less and less. 

Like the song in Frozen, let it go. Forgiveness is possible, you just have to let it go. And Jesus showed us it is possible by going to the cross for us. 

2. Forgiveness is highly Recommended or Desirable

The damage we do to ourself due to the unforgiveness eats us up. There was a founding done in a study that 75% of people are confident that they are forgiven by God. Christians and non Christians alike. But the picture is that less than half of them only were certain they have forgiven others. As much as they are aware God is gracious towards them, they are less gracious towards forgiving others. And the study showed that those who do not forgive are more prone to stress related health problems. For our mental well being, the key is to let it go. 

How many of you hold on to grudges as if they are gold. It affects our spiritual health. 

There was this woman who quarreled with the husband and finally I found out it was because he did not give her the wedding dinner like the Chinese usually does. They have been married so long but she held on to that.

We have to move on and leave things behind because you cannot change the past. It's for our own good. 

And Jesus talked about the servant who owed money, ten thousand talents, the equivalent today would be 10 million USD. So he wanted to put him in prison and he would in no way can pay the debt. He begged for some time and the master had compassion and he forgives him. 

But this man met someone who owed him 100 denari. It's probably only about 100 USD. And he threw this person in prison and people saw his injustice. How ungrateful is this person. And this person reported to the master. What was Jesus trying to say? This is how my Heavenly Father will treat you if you do not forgive. 

3. Forgiveness is Essential

You want God to forgive you, you have to forgive your brother or sister who have done less to you. 

In the Lord's Prayer, it is to forgive our debts even as we forgive our debtors. There shouldn't be any conflict in church. A mature Christian should not offend other or be offended. The bible says they will know you are my disciples if you have loved for one another. If we do not love one another how do we love the world? If we do not learn to forgive. 

We often say Christianity is not a religion but a relationship. Then why is it that sometimes relationship in church is so bad? If there is no forgiveness there is no love. 

We are the TOP Church hopefully not because we are at the top floor but because we love one another. 

Forgiveness is possible. And it is highly recommended. And it is essential. 

Jesus called us his own. Do the same for our brothers and sisters. Forgiveness is not forgetting but about letting it go and not bringing up the offense always. 

Is your pastor perfect? No? Forgive your pastor and let it go. 

I end with this. How many of you read a real story of this young 14 year old Afghanistan girl. How she believed every girl should go to school and she was shot in the head for it. She did not die and was treated in the US and she's fine now. 

She is advocating now for girls to go to school in Afghanistan. Bringing awareness. And she was asked what would you do if you are threatened to be shot again? And she said she will try to talk to them. At one time she said she may throw a shoe at her enemy but then she thought a while and said she won't do that or she would not be any better than them. She forgave them. 

Is there someone you need to forgive? Read 1 Corinthians 13 for yourself.