Anger Management

Rev Gideon Lee

Last week I was not here so if you are wondering if your pastor has backslide, I want to say that I was in Phuket to conduct a wedding. The couple was in my youth group at my previous church. 

Matthew 5:21-26

5:25, 26pp – Lk 12:58, 59

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. ’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca, ’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool! ’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

Do not murder was referenced from the Ten Commandments. 

But Jesus said something that was shocking, he was equating anger on the same level as murder. Anger, a feeling that all of us has. How many of us never get angry? Wah, all saints here ar. How many of you got angry this morning? Or you got angry on your way to church? Someone cut in your lane and you got angry. 

But this morning, Jesus is talking about anger as murder. 

All of us get angry. Some time back in the 70's there is this mood ring. It can change colour based on the mood of the person. How it works is that it reacts based on your body temperature. So when angry your body temperature rises. All of us feels this feeling of anger. To a certain extent we do get angry. 

Why did Jesus said this? He said being angry you are in danger of hell fire. Jesus knew that anger is an outward act from the inside. How someone is so angry that he commits murder. Out of his anger the act took place. 

This morning may I suggest to you three guidelines how to keep your anger in check according to the bible. 

1. It's okay to be angry. 

Ephesians 4:26

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

It's okay to get angry but don't sin. Pastors also get angry. More important, don't sin when you get angry. 

Let's look at Jesus. He often got angry with the Pharisees. The famous incident happened at the temple where he overturned the tables. Jesus is not against business but these people were cheating at the temple. This is righteous anger. 

It is okay to be angry but don't sin. We should be angry when we see injustice or people being down trodden. Or when we see sin or unrighteousness. That is holy anger. 

Sometimes we need to express our anger but when we act on our anger, we may sin. How often we say things and wish we can retract. Anger not only hurts us but those around us. 

In our moment of anger we have to be careful. There was a survey done where medical students took this test. Those that score high in hostility also has a higher death rate. When a person gets angry not only his face turns red but his veins pops up. You risk getting a stroke as your blood pressure goes up. Damage done to your heart is like having high blood pressure or smoking. 

But Jesus has come to set us free. 

2. Anger needs to be resolved at the first possible opportunity. 

God says stop and do not offer your offerings until you have resolved with your adversary. This is what God requires. 

When I do marriage counselling, I often ask the couple what is the most important words in a marriage. It is not "I love you" but "I am sorry". There are times when I need some time to cool down but we need to do it as soon as possible. The longer you wait the harder it is to resolve. At the first possible opportunity, solve it. Don't drag. You have to forgive one another. 

The problem is not just anger but what happens after anger. Don't let it fester. Like a wound, it can become gangrene.  

There are these two sisters from a wealthy family. They love one another though they have fights. But something happened and they became angry with one another and stopped talking to one another. How many of you have a relative you no longer talk to. You need to settle the issue. 

These sisters became so bad that they don't want to see one another. But in the same house they cannot avoid one another so they decided to build a wall to divide the house. But the problem was that the toilet was on one side. But the sister got so angry that she prefer to go to the neighbour's toilet. But the other sister also not happy. The kitchen is on the other side. 

This went on for a while. So one of the sister had a stroke and because of her stubbornness refused to call for help and died just a few feet away from help. The other sister was so grieved and blamed herself and also died in grief. 

Some of you may be angry. Forgive. Why do you think our bibles have been confiscated. Or why a church was being evicted in Kepong? Why do you think they are burning churches? It is to cause you Christians to be angry. But very important, in your anger don't sin. But why are the Christians not retaliating? We have been at conflict with our cousins from Abrahams' time. The crusades. I am not proud of what the Christians did. The bible says love your enemies. 

3. Because anger is a spiritual issue. 

Look at what Jesus says. If you have something not right with your brother go make right before coming to God. Anger will affect your walk with God. Will affect your offerings. Jesus says go resolve this as soon as you can. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. It is a spiritual thing. 

You have to. It is a commandment. Doesn't matter if the person doesn't accept. Doesn't matter, you do it. The bible says you heap coals on the person. It means you have done your part and the responsibility is now on that person. 

Best way to combat anger is love. Forgive. Let go. Often the things we fight about are small issues. I have seen a church split because of where to put the Christmas tree. Right side or left side. Sometimes we even forgot what we were angry about but still angry. 

The bible says in our anger don't sin. Settle the issue as soon as possible. And that anger is a spiritual issue. Your walk with God will be compromised.

I end with this story. 

There was once this famous psychologist. In a taxi going for his appointment a car came and crashed into the taxi that this guy was in. Thank God no one was hurt. The guy came out of his car and shouted obscenity at the taxi driver. The taxi driver just smiled at him and did not get angry but just smiled. He told the guy it's okay. He got back in and the psychologist said "I noticed you did not get angry". The taxi driver said there are many angry people out there because of what is happening in their life but you don't have to let them affect you. 

You cannot stop the birds from flying over you but you can stop them from landing on your head. We don't have to get angry. 

When I read the beatitudes I realise how far I have fallen short. I realised I have not reached this level and have fallen short. I have not yet arrive. Make me more and more like you. I need you.