Emotional Healing

Pastor Yoong Ying Wah

It's a pleasure to be here this morning. A little bit of introduction. I'm married with one wife, that's important to know nowadays and two children and two grandchildren. My grandson is already 6 years old and my granddaughter is 3 plus. I've been living in Melbourne for the last 28 years.

Some churches bring me in for one whole week where I may do three sessions of counselling a day. And some churches have been bringing me in for the last 14 years. I've not come out to Penang for years and years except for the last few months I come about two times. I come not only for individual counselling but also for special meetings and weekend meetings. They also have different cell groups taking me out for breakfast, lunch and dinner and when you minister to one person, you bless everybody in the group because everybody knows that person.

An example was 2 years ago, I flew to KK after transit in KL so I told them tomorrow please no counselling because I was too tired. Just take me out for the 3 meals. So one pastor brought 3 ladies to come along and before I could start on my Char Koay Teow in KK, I felt God asking me to talk to a lady on my right.

I asked her why do you worry about money when God has given you so much money? Money should be the last thing you're worried about. Wah…she panicked and said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be worried about money. I think I took up my mother's habit. Blame the mother. The mother was not there to defend herself. So when I wanted to start on my Koay Teow again, I saw something in my spirit and I asked why you keep scolding your husband. He's the nicest man you can ever find in this world. Wah, she almost burst into tears.

Had it been somebody I'm church telling her that she'd probably say you go and mind your own business. But I don’t know her. She said ya, I keep worrying about money so I take out my stress all on him. I spoke to one person, 4 people repented. Sometimes we think counselling we just sit down but this just saved me two hours of counselling because God just cut I'm like that.

And she had to be a very brave woman not to change after that. Sometimes we have very set ideas, so I told God I want to be creative. You'll never know what hits you. God is creative. We are the one that make God so boring. Some people go up to the pulpit and we say aiyah we know what he's going to talk about. I hope I'm not one of them.

Sometimes we have very set ideas but God is a creative God. Through the years, over 20 years, I've counselled many emotional healing on individual cases. You can't imagine the pain I come across. All kinds of depression, suicidal cases and those sexually abused people.

Then drop there I went into severe marriages issues. I've never met somebody who married to torture the other person. But a good marriage is more than just good intentions. You must know how to make it work. So a lot of people do not know sad to say but they don't ask for help. Most of the cases that comes to me already ICU cases. Incentive care. Terminal. The pulse is already about to become straight line. They try to fix it themselves so they medicate. So instead of helping themselves they poison themselves. So they end up in ICU. By the time I come in to find out what poison have they been taking and all the he wrong ways of dealing with each other.

Last few year I've also been doing ladies seminars. It's very interesting because a lot of things I don't plan. Now I'm moving into the youths too.

The youth ministry to really reset the thinking of young people. Yesterday I spoke about what it means by falling in love. What is chemistry? Examine and remove all these myth about chemistry and so on and so forth. And to give them the biblical standards of proper understanding. This world has a lot of voices for the young people. God has open the door for me to speak to the youth to readjust them. So instead of just looking at the pure beauty of a girl we should be looking at the inner beauty. The world tune the mind at the outside beauty. I always say guys, you can get the most beautiful dog in the world but if it keeps biting you, don't care how beautiful you'll still kick it away.

I never wanted to write books, but in the last few years I wrote books mainly for ladies. About emotional meltdown and how to change your husband without nagging and how to forget the past and so on. We always tell people to forget the past but how?

Two years ago one Singaporean bought my book and wanted to meet me with her husband. When I landed from KL, I saw on the cover of the Business Times was a full page of them and their family fortune. I am a simple man and don't have that kind of air. I have nothing tangible to offer them. They actually wanted intangible wealth. They realised that their tangible wealth can cover only a certain distance. God has been teaching me to lay hold of intangible wealth. Look for gems in the darkness. I was wondering what God was leading me to.

Last year in PJ, an American came to stay in a house I was staying in. He was there for 2 weeks. One night his host cannot have him so my host had him on board. And while fellowshipping he asked me about my life story. And he told me to write everything into a book and he said if I've nobody to edit for me he said to send to him and he'd pay for it to be edited. I was so shocked he was so keen on my life story.

He's a professor of missions for 36 years in charge of a doctorate programme at a seminary. Little did he know I started writing 6 months ago but halfway I stopped because I was not sure and had no bearing. It was God who sent this man for one night to come to the he house to tell me to finish it. So I told God I'll finish it. But I hated writing books because so much details.

Two days later in a cell group I asked one person if he knew anyone who could edit my book for me and he said he's a book publisher. Give it to me. I almost cried at Starbucks but men don't cry publicly. We only cry in the shower.

For many years as I counsel people one on one, some people can just fall asleep. I was offended because someone is talking and they find it boring. Then I realised that everyone who fall asleep are demonised or demon possessed. The demon would knock off their conscious mind. Because when I speak the word, it cuts like a surgical knife. When I counsel I cut like a surgical knife. I am a spiritual surgeon. I cut line upon line. Their conscious mind were knocked off so they cannot hear the words that is coming out. I don't look for demons. They will appear and knock off that person's conscious mind.

So this morning anyone feeling sleepy? Too early to do any deliverance. I always tell people when I speak nobody fall asleep. It's not that I'm very good, it's just that people dare not fall asleep.

Luke 4:18-19 (NIV)

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

To do the work of God you need the anointing of the Holy Spirit. A man of the word is made at the Bible College. But the man of God is made in the wilderness. In the wilderness God destroys you. You come out depending on the Holy Spirit. But the man of God and depend on the theology. Nothing wrong with that. But too often some of us take our brain and our knowledge as God. We treat out knowledge and our mind as though it's God. No. What is bigger than your mind and all the experience that you have gone through?

 As a young boy, I grew up in Kuala Lumpur and once in a whole I'll followed my father to Stadium Negara.
At about 6.30 in the morning, when the air once upon a time still fresh. Up there I saw all these old men doing Tai Chi. As a curious young man I was wondering what they were doing. They say it's good for blood circulation as you move your arms and legs. Also it is good for self defence when your enemy attack you take his force and pushbutton away. And you are left unharmed.

We Christians may not do physical Tai Chi. But a lot of us do spiritual Tai Chi. When the word of God come from the he pulpit to you, you say that word is for this fellow, so accurate and you hope he's paying attention. What you did was when you got the word of God you pushbutton away to someone else. They will say this word is for you. This is not for me. And when they leave the service they wonder why God never speak to me.

God does not gossip to you about somebody else problem. If he speaks he speaks to you not about someone else. He loves you and wants to help you change. So tardy every word is meant for you, not for your neighbour.

How many of you come to the church to torture or intentionally give your pastor problems? How many of you decided not to grow spiritually for the next ten years? It is illogical. Nobody intentionally do all of that. We never come to church to do it intentionally. But what is the reality? Some goes from church to church and criticise. After criticising, then go to another one.

It is important to know how to administer emotional healing. Nobody intentionally want to hurt another.

There's this man who had cheese on his beard. He went to the room and he said the room smells funny. Then he went on to the kitchen and he said his kitchen also smelled funny. Then he went into the living room and even the living room smelled funny. Looks like the whole house smelled funny. So he said he better go get some fresh air. He went out to the verandah, sniff sniff sniff and he said the whole world stinks. To him the whole world stinks. It's not because the whole world stinks but it's because he did not remove it from himself. Often we have something we are to deal with and we did not remove it in our life.

What you know about yourself consciously may not not necessarily be the truth about yourself. You may not be who you think you are. In counselling I realised 95% of those who think that that's the problem is actually not the actual problem.

One time I spoke to a church at Sungai Buluh In Selangor. It's a place where leprosy is treated. Leprosy is where you do not have feeling so when you scrape yourself you don't feel it. The same with many churches. They are so wounded they don't feel anymore. They built walls and say they don't want to feel anymore. So that they can't be hurt but at the same time can't be loved. In that state they can't feel other people so when they step on other people's toes they don't even know. They are shocked and said I did not hurt you. What's wrong with you? That's because they have emotional leprosy. Who's the real you and real me?

Computer. What's the real computer? The real computer is not just the screen. It's the screen and the CPU but many think it's just the screen.

If knowing the truth brings freedom then why are Christians who is more than qualified still struggling?

Two days ago I was supposed to fly in to Singapore to help a couple. One of them the in-law asked me to go down to help their son-in-law and daughter. That son-in-law speaks in 150 countries. A big Christian organisation. And he also speaks in all the churches in Singapore. A strings of qualifications, Masters in Psychology and counselling. To him, he said he tried to fix his marriage and he said if he can't nobody can. He wanted to divorce his wife actually. He trusted his knowledge but it's more than that.

One time, God showdown me the pictures of a horse. There was this horse that was galloping on the spot. And the people asked the horse why are you running on the spot? The horse was tied by a thick rope to a stake. All Christians want to advance but because of unresolved issues, you keep galloping on the spot. Cut off the rope for people and you'll see them move forward.

Head knowledge does not change how you live life. It just change how you think about yourself. Many decisions we make is because of our unconscious mind.

Many think they think it's what they know because they read the bible. Moments of discovery comes when it expose what you know in your conscious mind and what your unconscious mind does.

Otherwise it's just head knowledge. They you just know it but you are not it. You know of it but you can't do it. You talk it but you don't walk it. Many Christians are in this kind of state. The devil is a better theologian than many of us. He has been around and even used the word against Jesus. Although he knows the word of God he's still the devil. You may know the word of God but you may not change.

You make me so angry. You make me angry when I'm a nice man. We blame others for our actions. I had this man who came to talk to me and asked me to talk to his wife so that he does not have to beat her. He blamed his aggressiveness on his wife. I was wondering and asked him why she is so powerful  can make him beat her but cannot make him love her? It is obviously not in her hands. He's blaming her for beating her.

It's the example of a tiger cage. No matter how I rattle the tiger cage, you won't hear a tiger roar if there's no tiger in there. Too many of you already have a tiger in there. God send somebody to rattle that tiger cage of yours to have you deal with that tiger in there. But we ended up blaming the messenger from God.

What is your unconscious thought? It was once your conscious thought. It was pushed aside and became unconscious thought because it was suppressed. And as Christians as you grow in the word of God that became alive in us, but so are your past issues. The main reasons why Christians failed to progress is that they often blame the devil. Too often we blame it on the devil. Because of the emotional mess in us we self destruct. Most Christians self destruct because of emotional problems never dealt with. Your wounded self.

One day a lady came to see me because she had a new found love in Melbourne. She was having an affair with a colleague. She didn't want a divorce because of a bad name to her family. But she still wants to enjoy this new found love. As I talked to her I realised she was not intending to give him up. So I had to tell her God said if you repent I will restore you but if you insists on going your way I'll let you go. All of us Christians have the hand of God covering us. The anger of God is not coming to slap your backside but to let you go. My grace and mercy kept you but it's not a license to live in sin. To sin deliberately. If you continue I'll let you go.

That lady who committed adultery suddenly called the church to complain about me. The moment God let you go, you're no longer under the influence of the Holy Spirit.

In another case a wife really hate the husband. He could not understand because he took her for a holiday and even bought her a new car. She insisted on sleeping in another room. She went to a lawyer and wanted to divorce her husband. The lawyer brought her to Christ and found her someone to guide her on what a good Christian wife should do to her husband. She learnt all those things and still hate the husband. This time worst. Now you know what you're supposed to do and you can't do it. So she became suicidal. It was tormenting.

She could not even stand the husband touching her at all. We happened to know the person who was following her up so typical of me I just asked if you've heard of any lady who doesn't want her husband to touch her. She jumped up when she realised this was a divine appointment.

So I met her and I asked why do you hate your husband? She said I hate my husband because he asked me to do banking and to drive here and there in the hot sun. I asked if I can pray for her.

Holy Spirit come and search her heart. After a while she said yes I remembered 5 years ago he did this to me so I hate him. So I prayed Holy Spirit search deeper. I remember now, 10 years a go he did this to me. Holy Spirit search deeper. And then suddenly, she just cried out.

17 or 18 years ago when they were still boyfriend and girlfriend he imposed himself on her sexually. And she said when that feeling came out it felt like it just happened seconds ago. The feeling is so real and the anger she had on him as a boyfriend then is still very much alive. So much so that even though the husband has changed to be a better person what had locked up in the unconscious she couldn't forgive him. And it came out finally.

I asked if she wants to forgive her husband and she said she always wanted to forgive him but I didn't know what it was. Now I know. So I prayed for her. She went home told the husband come back to the room. That night, Tarzan met Jane. Imagine that. But don't imagine too hard alright.

A marriage about to be destroyed because of one thing that happened a long long time ago was saved. The root was not dealt with.

Some things that hold us are personal secrets. One of the worst is sexual mistakes. You normally cannot pray it away. You need someone else to pray with you. Especially for young girls. For the young man it's enjoyment but for the girls it'll mess you up.

What you don't talk out you will act out. External things don't help you. It is important you seek help and deal with it.

Many people are corrupt in their mind. That's why they cannot get rid of it until somebody talk and pray with them.

If you wonder why you can't move forward seek help. Talk to God and God will arrange a suitable person for you.

Pastor Yoong Ying Wah praying for the congregation.