A Father's Heart

Bro Koay Kheng Hin

Happy Father's Day. Today I feel happy to be here at the pulpit. I prepared a Father's Day message yesterday for a service at PPC and I realized out of the 40 to 50 that attended only about 5 men were there. I told them, ladies more godly ya, since most churches I go to have more ladies. 

I have titled today's message "A father's heart". My passage is from Deuteronomy. 

Deuteronomy 1:29-31

“Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified, or afraid of them. 30 The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, 31 and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.’

Here in verse 31, it says the Lord carried them as a father carries his son. I want to put to you that when Moses wrote this he is comparing God's heart for the Israelites to a father's heart. It just shows how important God sees fatherhood. And in it we see how intimate a father is. 

I want to look at fathers and how it is an important role. I will look at three prophets, who were imperfect fathers. It just says we try but we are not perfect but there is only one perfect father and that is God. 

But in all of it, even though we are imperfect fathers, God has planted in all fathers a father's heart. 

1. Eli

1 Samuel 2:22-25

Prophecy Against Eli's Household

22 Now Eli was very old; and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of meeting. 23 So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. 24 No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the Lord's people transgress. 25 If one man sins against another, God will judge him. But if a man sins against the Lord, who will intercede for him?” Nevertheless they did not heed the voice of their father, because the Lord desired to kill them.

Why was Eli so concerned? Their sons were all old already and Eli was close to 80 or 90. The two sons will do all sort of things. They did not respect the Lord and just took the meats they wanted. And they slept with women and prostitutes. Eli must have been heartbroken. 

The sons did not listen to the father's rebuke. You will find here the Lord looks at both Eli and his sons. God was very unhappy with Eli and his two sons. The 4 chapters here show us a picture of Eli. You see him as a priest, his calling and vocation. As a father that was his privilege. Eli was weak as a father. Someway along the line, the children became very indisciplined. 

Before we judge Eli, we sometimes as father do not know how to handle our children when they do wrong too. We did not learn to discipline them. When they grow up and you want to discipline them, it is not so easy anymore. 

We can see Eli's weakness was that he was not a strong father. There was one more thing. Even though Eli spoke to his sons, God was not happy. Because even the sons were doing wrong, Eli had the authority but did not remove them from their priestly duty. 

When our children do wrong, we tell them to not do it but after a while we resign to their indiscipline. Eli had the authority in office to remove them but he did not. That was why God say he did not honour God. 

The Israelites went to war with the Philistines. They took the ark thinking that the Lord would fight for them. 

1 Samuel 4:17-18

So the messenger answered and said, “Israel has fled before the Philistines, and there has been a great slaughter among the people. Also your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead; and the ark of God has been captured.”

18 Then it happened, when he made mention of the ark of God, that Eli fell off the seat backward by the side of the gate; and his neck was broken and he died, for the man was old and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.

I was wondering what was on Eli's mind when the messenger came. He knew they had lost the battle. First blow. Second news, his children is dead. Second blow. And the third news that broke the camel's back, the Ark was captured. As a priest he understood the ark was supposed to be with the Israelites. Eli must have felt such a failure when the ark was taken. That was Eli the priest. But for Eli as a father, the news of his two son's death was also too much a blow for an old man. 

Eli saw his sons growing up, he may not have disciplined them and they obeyed him not. And when they died at such young age, it must have broken a father's heart. There was no record of rebuke in the bible. Eli has a father's heart but it was a painful heart. 

Some years ago I had a dialogue with a parent. The daughter wanted a divorce.  It was not adultery. There was no third party. The daughter just said not compatible. The father was very angry. The daughter was adamant. The father told me the daughter cannot listen. I told the father it is our job and responsibility to tell them when they are wrong. We must know there will have consequences if they go the wrong way. But I told him if they do not, a father's heart is still a father's heart. At the end we will feel for our children. When she has no husband to turn to, the father and mother has to be there. 

For children when fathers do not approve of what you do, it is for your good but they will always have a father's heart for you. Eli went too far and condone what the sons did by not stopping them. 

Eli as a father had a painful heart. 

2. David

2Sa 18:5

5 And the king ordered Joab and Abishai and Ittai, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders about Absalom.

2 Samuel 18:19-33

David Hears of Absalom's Death

19 Then Ahimaaz the son of Zadok said, “Let me run now and take the news to the king, how the Lord has avenged him of his enemies.”

20 And Joab said to him, “You shall not take the news this day, for you shall take the news another day. But today you shall take no news, because the king's son is dead.” 21 Then Joab said to the Cushite, “Go, tell the king what you have seen.” So the Cushite bowed himself to Joab and ran.

22 And Ahimaaz the son of Zadok said again to Joab, “But whatever happens, please let me also run after the Cushite.”

So Joab said, “Why will you run, my son, since you have no news ready?”

23 “But whatever happens,” he said, “let me run.”

So he said to him, “Run.” Then Ahimaaz ran by way of the plain, and outran the Cushite.

24 Now David was sitting between the two gates. And the watchman went up to the roof over the gate, to the wall, lifted his eyes and looked, and there was a man, running alone. 25 Then the watchman cried out and told the king. And the king said, “If he is alone, there is news in his mouth.” And he came rapidly and drew near.

26 Then the watchman saw another man running, and the watchman called to the gatekeeper and said, “There is another man, running alone!”

And the king said, “He also brings news.”

27 So the watchman said, “I think the running of the first is like the running of Ahimaaz the son of Zadok.”

And the king said, “He is a good man, and comes with good news.”

28 So Ahimaaz called out and said to the king, “All is well!” Then he bowed down with his face to the earth before the king, and said, “Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delivered up the men who raised their hand against my lord the king!”

29 The king said, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

Ahimaaz answered, “When Joab sent the king's servant and me your servant, I saw a great tumult, but I did not know what it was about.”

30 And the king said, “Turn aside and stand here.” So he turned aside and stood still.

31 Just then the Cushite came, and the Cushite said, “There is good news, my lord the king! For the Lord has avenged you this day of all those who rose against you.”

32 And the king said to the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

So the Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise against you to do harm, be like that young man!”

David's Mourning for Absalom

33 Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus:“O my son Absalom—my son, my son Absalom—if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!”

Absalom pursued David and wanted David dead. The son pursued David to take the father's life. But David and his mighty men managed to build his army. It was painful for David that his sons whom he nurtured when young is pursuing to take his life. He told his commanders, take care of my son Absalom. David never forgot his son. David's army won but his mule got caught under the oak and Joab heard of it and he plunged three javelin into his heart. 

The news went to David and let's see his reaction. David had two roles, a king and also a father. Between the kingdom and his fatherhood we see where his heart was. 

The second messenger came and the king asked again. Is the young man Absalom saved? The bible records clearly, the king was shaken by the news of his son's death. His kingdom and his life was at stake but he was more concerned about his son. 

Hearing of his son's death he went up to the tower and wept. 

Throughout history you will hear of sons usurping their father's throne. Many will just banish their son but often the son will come back with an army to take over his throne and life. From China to Europe, you see how a father's heart is. 

In David's case, he had a protective heart. 

3. Jacob

Genesis 37:2-4

This is the history of Jacob.

Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brothers. And the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to his father.

3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. 4 But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.

What was Jacob's weakness. In verse 2, you see Jacob had wives, he had four women. In a family like that there will be problems. When you have four women and many children, it's a recipe for disaster. 

Jacob had a show of favoritism that is very obvious. My mom always say I have no favorites. But my brothers will always say mom loves you more. Sometimes in our heart, when you have a few children, you will find some that are agreeable with you while some less so. But we have to be fair and not be like Jacob where it's so obvious. 

The jealousy got the brothers to turn against Joseph. And it's not just because of the coat of many colours. 

Genesis 37:31-35

So they took Joseph's tunic, killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the tunic in the blood. 32 Then they sent the tunic of many colors, and they brought it to their father and said, “We have found this. Do you know whether it is your son's tunic or not?”

33 And he recognized it and said, “ It is my son's tunic. A wild beast has devoured him. Without doubt Joseph is torn to pieces.” 34 Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days. 35 And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted, and he said, “For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning.” Thus his father wept for him.

Here you can see how grieved Jacob was in hearing the news that Joseph died. 

Genesis 44:27-29

Then your servant my father said to us, “You know that my wife bore me two sons; 28 and the one went out from me, and I said, “Surely he is torn to pieces”; and I have not seen him since. 29 But if you take this one also from me, and calamity befalls him, you shall bring down my gray hair with sorrow to the grave. ’

20 years later, this was what Jacob said. He loved Rachel and he remembered Joseph but he now love Benjamin and he said if Benjamin does he will die too. Jacob in this passage never forgot Joseph, a son who was torn to pieces. 

I want to bring a contemporary example. When we read newspapers, bad news is exciting news. I am guilty too. But when we read them we feel sad and bad. But after a week we forget. Why? It's not our child. We just see it as a tragic event. To the father it's a traumatic experience who will not forget. A father will always pine for his child and he will always remember. 

I want to look at all these 3 prophets and put it together. 

Eli was not a strong father. But Eli has a heart for his sons. He had a painful heart. So to children you must understand your wrongs cause pains to your father. 

David's Bathsheba incident affected his family. He was imperfect but he had a father's heart to protect his son. 

Jacob's weakness is too many wives and he practiced favoritism. But he ended well. He had his sons back but for 22 years he must have pined for his son Joseph. 

On a personal level I have my children late. Now many teachers are talking about retirement. Bro Hooi is retiring next year so I may end up in a school with only lady teachers. I may have to wear a skirt to school (laughs). 

I was physically ready to be a father. But emotionally I was not ready. When I finally became a father, I was ready. Today there are many who is physically able to be a father but is not mature enough. The perfect fatherhood is expressed in God our father. You will have a father's heart. As a father we have to learn to look to God our father whose love can flow through, a father's love. Don't look to your imperfection but look to the cross where a father's heart was perfectly demonstrated.