Sis Melinda Song
Traditional
Jewish men at the beginning of the daily morning prayers recite: “Blessed are
you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a
woman.”
Being a woman, even in today’s progressive 21st century is
difficult. Despite the many disadvantages to be a woman, I’m so glad that God has not created me a
man.
We
live in a day in which it is very difficult to be a good man. It is even
more difficult to be a good husband. But it is most difficult to be a
good dad.
There are so many demands on you men especially when you start a
family.
ILLUSTRATION: Three fathers are sitting the hospital waiting room waiting on word
about the birth of their children. A nurse comes out and says to the first
father, “Sir, I am happy to tell you that your wife just gave birth to TWIN
DAUGHTERS.”
The father
replied, “Well isn't that something; I work for the DOUBLE COLA bottling
company and now I have TWIN DAUGHTERS.
Pretty soon the
nurse returns and says to the second father, “Sir, I am happy to tell you that
your wife just gave birth to TRIPLETS. The father replied, “Well isn't that
something! I work for the 3-M Corporation and I now have THREE CHILDREN all
born on the same day.
As the nurse
turns to go back to the delivery room she hears a loud thud. She turns and sees
the third father sprawled out on the floor. She asks the other two fathers,
“What's wrong with him?” One of the fathers said, “I don't know. He was telling
us he works for SEVEN UP and the next thing we knew he was passed out on the
floor.”
Definition of father
- A male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child.
- A man who adopts a child.
- A man who raises a child.
Today is a day to celebrate and honour all fathers, adopted father,
step-fathers, grandfathers, spiritual fathers. Fatherhood is the greatest
delight but also the biggest challenge to a man.
The concept of fatherhood is very important in the Bible because God
has a specific design for how the family is to operate, and at the center of it
is the father. The world has discounted the importance of fathers, but the
Bible defines family in the context of fatherhood.
In Ephesians 3:14-15, Paul wrote: “For this reason I kneel before
the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its
name.” The Greek word “family” is patria and
it is derived from the root pater. In
Greek or Latin, this word means “father.” The definition of a family in the
biblical sense is to call it “fatherhood.” Without a father, there is no
family. The proof of this is that the family gets their name from the father.
Single mothers, please do not get offended. We accept single mothers
with children as families. This biblical definition of a family is to show the
importance of fathers. Also, the biblical definition of an orphan is to be
“fatherless.” It’s not to be without both parents, but to simply be without a
father.
The father is the God-ordained leader in the family (Ephesians
5:23). In 1 Timothy 3:12 the qualification for a deacon is that he must
manage his children and his household well. He manages well by
leading well.
When fathers lead their families well they are LIFE-givers.
L - A Father’s LOVE
- To love is to PROVIDE
Matthew 7:9-11, NIV
9 “Which of you, if
your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give
him a snake? 11 If
you, then, though you are evil, know
how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father
in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
John 3:16, NIV
16 For God so
loved the world that he gave…
1 Timothy 5:8, NIV
8 Anyone who does not
provide for their
relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is
worse than an unbeliever.
A
good father provides for his family. At the same time a good dad does not let
his children treat him like an ATM machine and take what they have for granted.
Children should have realistic expectations. They should not expect to be sent
overseas just because everyone is sending their children overseas.
Fathers
work hard to provide for their family – food, clothing and shelter. We
appreciate you.
- To love is to PROTECT
God
has given men greater physical strength than women and has also given men a
need or desire to be protectors. Fathers, you are your child’s first super
hero! They look to you to be their helper, defender.
Dads
have to be vigilant, constantly aware, constantly on guard against danger their
families may encounter. Nowadays they have to be proactive in ensuring that
their children are using the internet wisely. There are predators like Richard
Huckle online or offline. They have to make sure their children are not
encountering things on television that their minds and hearts are not yet
equipped to understand.
- To love is to PRIORITISE
Men
are prone to find their identity through work rather than family and so they
tend to focus on things like work achievements, high salary, and job title.
Love is more than provision for material things. Don’t miss your children’s
childhood; there is no second chance at childhood.
Children
interpret time spent with them as love. Forget “quality time” vs. “quantity
time”. "Quality time" is a myth that the world made up to pacify
their consciences, for spending too much time at work and not enough time with
their families.
You
cannot substitute 'presents' for 'presence’ when you are building a
relationship.
ILLUSTRATION: Charles Francis Adams, a 19th century politician and diplomat, kept a
daily diary. One day Adams wrote in his diary:.
“Went
fishing with my son today–-a
day wasted.”
His son, Brook
Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence today. Ironically on that
same day, Brook Adams wrote in his diary:
“Went fishing with my dad today–the most
wonderful day of my life.”
He never forgot
that day. There were repeated references to that great experience over the next
forty years in his journal.
No
matter what great things you do in life, if your children see you constantly
giving your best to everyone but them, they will interpret that to mean that
they are unimportant to you.
ILLUSTRATION: David Elkind, a psychologist, tells the story of
visiting his middle son’s nursery school class, at the request of his teacher.
She wanted him to observe a “problem child” in the class.
While
he was there, he caught a conversation between his son and some other
boys. The conversation went like this.
Child
A: “My daddy is a doctor and he makes lots of money and we have a swimming
pool.”
Child
B: “My daddy is a lawyer and he flies to Washington and talks to the
president.”
Child
C: “My daddy owns a company and we have our own airplane.”
Then
David Elkind’s boy said, “My daddy is here!” And he proudly looked in his
father’s direction. (James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, p.197)
It
is important to love your children, but fathers should not forget that it is as
vital, if not more so, for you to love the
mother of your children. There are times when a child’s immediate needs
might come first momentarily, but ultimately the marriage bond has to be
paramount (Eph. 5:25; Col. 3:19).
A
child's security is rooted in knowing that the love from which he came is still
going strong. A child who knows that his mom and dad are keeping their
marriage commitments to one another, who really love each other will be far
more stable and have greater emotional health than one who is torn by an
unstable family situation.
PERSONAL TESTIMONY: My daughter’s friends were troubled when their parents
quarrel and fight. They felt insecure thinking that their parents were going to
divorce.
L - A Father’s LOVE
I – A Father’s INSTRUCTION
God has placed that primary responsibility of teaching and training
squarely upon the shoulders of fathers.
Ephesians 6:4, NIV
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead,
bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Just
before entering the Promised Land, Moses reminds the people of Israel: "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord; and you
shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and
with all your might. And these words which I command you this day shall be upon
your heart; and you shall teach
them diligently to your children, and
shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way,
and when you lie down, and when you rise. And you shall bind them as a sign
upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall
write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates" (Deuteronomy
6:4-9, NKJV).
The word here for “teach” is not a passive impartation of knowledge.
The root meaning of this word means “to sharpen.” The idea is an active
piercing of your son’s heart and mind with these truths. You have to actively
look for opportunities in which to teach both the information and stress the
practical application of the lesson as well as the consequences of failing to
apply the lesson.
Dads,
take advantage of those “TEACHING MOMENTS” in in everyday situations. Teach
them THINK, to rightly divide between right and wrong. Train them how to make
wise choices, how to pray about tough decisions, how to treat others with
dignity and respect and to be caring and compassionate toward those who are
hurting or in need. Train them to value
spiritual things more than material things, to tell the truth and to be honest
in business dealing
Pro. 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he
is old, he will not depart from it.” This does not mean that your
children will be perfect if you take them to church and try to do right by them
but it does mean that they will have a moral guide for their lives and
actions.
Blessed
is the child who has a wise dad who is able to give good counsel and guidance
in life.
ILLUSTRATION: I can always offer a shoulder to cry on but my daughter knows her Dad
will always be the one to give her the best counsel.
Discipline is essential. Moses incorporates
these words into his address. "Know then
in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines
you" (Deuteronomy 8:5, NIV).
A
father knows that "folly is bound up in the heart of a child" (Prov.
22:15), so he rebukes, restrains, punishes, and chastens. He knows, "He
who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline
him" (Prov. 13:24). The Bible picture of a father is that of a man that,
whatever the cost, is not going to let his children grow up without discipline
and direction in their lives. He will not be the one responsible for their
"destruction" (Prov. 19:18).
ILLUSTRATION: On 2 June 2016, former Stanford student Brock Turner was sentenced to
six months in prison for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman on campus.
The light sentence raised a public outcry. His dad received the most attention,
claiming that his son should not go to prison for “twenty minutes of action.”
Do not be afraid to discipline. Fathers play
an important role in teaching their children proper behaviour by setting and
enforcing healthy limits. Very often one word from the father works faster than
a thousand from the mother.
Ephesians 6:4, NIV
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children
On the negative side, fathers are not to exasperate our children –
driving them to the point of resentment with demands
that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing
favouritism or indifference to any of them. In other
words, our discipline cannot crush their spirit or demean them.
Colossians 3:21, NIV
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this
pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will
become discouraged.
Father, you are to build up and not tear down.
L - A Father’s LOVE
I –A Father’s INSTRUCTION
F –A Father’s FAITH
- A father’s faith in GOD
1 Thessalonians 2:11, NIV
11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children,12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives
worthy of God, who calls you
into his kingdom and glory.
There is a tendency to pass the responsibility of spiritual training off on the Christian mothers, or a youth minister, or our
children’s Sunday School teachers. But spiritual guidance cannot be delegated to others. Godly fathers are
men of faith who desire to raise their children in the fear of the Lord. They
pray and teach their kids to pray, and not leave it up to the church to do it.
They pray for their children’s salvation.
Every
husband and father is called to be the priest of his home. Great is the
joy of a father like Joshua who can say:
Joshua 24:15, NIV
15 …choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve,
whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the
Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
God
is looking for men in the home who will bless their children.
ILLUSTRATION: One report in Florida showed that while there is a high population of
Jewish people in the state, the population of Jewish men in prison is very low.
Sociologists
began to study this phenomenon and came to the conclusion that the reason was
that Jewish fathers are more likely than other fathers to remain married to the
mother of their children, and Jewish fathers traditionally bless their
children.
A Jewish blessing
is when the father lays his hand on the head of his child and tells that child
how good he or she is and how good that child is going to do in life. They say
things like, “God has given me a wonderful son. You are a blessing to me, and you
will be a great man of God someday. You will be a great student, a great
provider for your family, and you will be a great father to your children.” And
that paternal presence and blessing is the difference between a 5 percent
prison population of Jewish men and a 95 percent prison population of
non-Jewish men.
Fathers, be a man of God in your home. Be a husband who is a blessing to his wife, be a
father who gives a blessing to his children, and be a man of God who knows how
to bless the Lord with all your soul.
- A father’s faith in HIS CHILD
Acceptance
and approval of a father through words and actions are important. A Dad builds
up his children, develops their gifts and abilities, and encourages them to
excel.
Commendation
enriches a child’s character. A father who looks for opportunities to give
commendation will help to build confidence in his children and motivate them
not to give up trying to do what is right.
Dads
are also called to faithfulness, the same faithfulness that is modelled by the
father in the story of the prodigal son. Just imagine how the story would have
ended if the father took the attitude of washing his hands off his unfilial
son.
"But
while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion and ran
and embraced him and kissed him" (Luke 15:20). The father, as he worked
his field, was constantly scanning the horizon. His was a love that refused to
give up.
Sometimes
fathers may have caused some of the rebellion. If so, we need to make our
overtures. Perhaps a phone call or a letter that says, "I'm sorry. Forgive
me for what I said. I love you. I want a restored relationship with you."
ILLUSTRATION: In “The Water Diviner”, father and water diviner Joshua Connor
(Russell Crowe) spends his days locating water and digging wells in Australia near the end of World War I. His three sons
who have gone off to fight in the war are presumed dead. This is too much for
his wife, Eliza, to handle and she takes her own life. To help heal his wounds,
Joshua sets off for Gallipoli to find his sons bodies and return them home to
bury alongside his wife.
When Joshua arrives in Turkey, he
works with the local ANZACs, including Major Hasan and Lt-Col Cyril Hughes to attempt to find
his sons. He was not allowed to enter the former battle-field but he managed to
get in.
Major Hasan: What are you doing with your farmer?
Lt-Col Cyril
Hughes: There's a supply ship back
to Constantinople in two days.
Major Hasan: Maybe we can help him until then.
Lt-Col Cyril
Hughes: You know what the chances
of finding his boys are.
Major Hasan: We have the day they were killed. I know the
area.
Lt-Col Cyril
Hughes: We both know it but why
change everything for one father who can't stay put?
Major Hasan: Because he is the only father who came looking.
Turkish
officer Major Hasan is clearly moved by Joshua arriving looking for his sons,
so much so that he instructs Hughes to help him in this mission. Hasan has
never seen a parent come looking for a child lost in war and wants to give
Joshua all the help he can.
Fathers,
don’t give up on their children. Continue to pray for them.
L - A Father’s LOVE
I – A Father’s INSTRUCTION
F –A Father’s FAITH
E - A Father’s EXAMPLE
We have a saying - "Like father, like son." In some
significant way, your children will probably turn out just like you. You are the leader model for character, integrity, values. To “train” in Ephesians 6:4 means to “teach by example.” The most
important training we will ever give our children and our grandchildren is to
“MODEL” for them what it means to live for JESUS CHRIST.
Our
families would rather "see" a sermon than
"hear" one. Your children will copy what they see. Children are the
greatest video recorders ever invented. What they see and hear, they will play
back perfectly. At the same time, children can't copy what they can't see. So
don't expect them to love the Lord if they can't see you loving Him.
If
you teach them one mode of conduct and live under a different mode yourself,
they will see the hypocrisy of it all. Integrity should permeate every area of
our lives. In the workplace, in church and at home
Great
parenting isn't always about having a great education, great wealth to give
your children, great power. It is about consistency of character. Great men and
women have been raised by uneducated people, by poor people, by commoners. It
is our character that counts more than our cash!
One
of the most important role of a Dad is to promote a healthy gender identity in
your child. Until children reach the age of from seven to ten years, they are
usually more under the influence of the mother; but after that the boy needs a
male model in order to develop a healthy sense of what it means to be male.
Much is gained if his father commands his respect.
Research shows that dads being involved can help teenage boys stay out of trouble.
Children, especially boys, learn a lot from their dads about being in
relationships that will influence how they act in relationships later in their
lives.
Do not underestimate the importance of fathers in their daughters’
lives. The dad is really the daughter’s first love. He is the most important
man in her life. Particularly girls between the ages of 10 and 17 have a strong
need for male attention, affirmation, affection and touch. If dad backs out,
she’ll get what she needs from male friendships or from romantic sexual
relationships. The No. 1 influence on a girl's self-esteem is affection from
her dad. His interactions with her set her up for how she’s going to relate to
all other men and to God.
Fathers,
you are very important. You are life-givers.
Blessed is the child who has experienced…
L - A Father’s LOVE
I – A Father’s INSTRUCTION
F –A Father’s FAITH
E - A Father’s EXAMPLE
Fatherhood
remains one of the highest ideals among men because it is a creation and
reflection of God. Fathers are to be commended and honoured for this and
for the pressures they face, whether it is the pressures of past failures,
providing for families, or being a positive influence.
Malachi 4:5-6, NIV
5 "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before
that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. 6 He will turn the hearts of the
fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a
curse."
In the New Testament, Jesus revealed the most important title that
God enjoys is “Father”. Jesus called God
Father more than any other title. In fact, He almost exclusively used the name
Father in reference to God.
Since Father is the greatest title we can ascribe to God, then it
stands to reason that every man should be proud to be called father. Even a
single man is called to be a father to the fatherless. Fatherhood should be
exalted as the greatest job for man.
Godly
fathers not only makes all the difference in the family but also in the world
and, most important of all, in eternity too!
Today
on Father’s Day would be a good moment all men to re-commit to being a hero for
their daughters and role models for their sons but not just to them, but where
they can, to invest in other young lives too.
